If it’s one thing i’ve learned these past couple weeks, it’s that some things just won’t get done; and thats ok. After being given 5 midterms that all include multi-page essays, AND having homework that is due, i’m at the point where i’m asking myself questions like: Do I get some sleep before my 8 hour shift, or do I do this assignment? Do i take my ADD medicine all week so i can get everything done and feel emotionally and mentally numb, or do i not take it and fall significantly behind? Do I go to my last class, or do I go do something that doesn’t require me to be productive for at least two seconds to maintain my sanity? I don’t know where this comes from, but if I don’t get all of my assignments done I feel like a failure.

Even with extensions, it feels hard to meet deadlines and get things in without sacrificing some part of myself. Especially when you work full-time and are a full-time student (i’m taking 6 classes HELP!), time feels like a scarce commodity. I even find myself skipping classes just to get other work done like damn?! BUT, i’ve learned to be ok with not getting every single last thing done, and to give myself some credit. I look at the things I did accomplish and am proud of myself. These midterms are the most serious struggle i’ve faced this semester, and if not for some of my classes miraculously getting cancelled (I still believe that was divine intervention) I don’t know if I would even feel like I do right now.

Lately, even the smallest things have been more difficult than usual. This class is one of the few where I actually enjoy being present and participating, but lately small things like participation have felt like challenging tasks. Especially if I work a 9 hour shift before class, sometimes I just don’t have it in me to participate let alone speak; and sometimes even think. Even writing this now i’m thinking of how I have to work in a few hours. But, I’ve learned to feel ok with sacrificing things to preserve myself. Like as long as the major things get done, some things don’t have to and thats ok! If I need to sleep and miss a class, that is ok. If I need to not do an assignment in order to save some time for myself, that is also ok. If I need to call out in order to finish some assignments and also sleep, that is fine. Life will go on, and in the long run, these things will seem like insignificant problems. We’re all going to school, surviving, working, and just existing through a global pandemic that affects literally every aspect of our lives. We need to give ourselves more credit! I’m rewarding myself for everything I accomplish from now on, whether that be as little as acknowledging and mentally telling myself good job/ i’m proud for doing that thing, or buying myself dinner and watching a show i’ve been putting off because I didn’t have the time. Needless to say these midterms have tested me in more ways than one, but they have taught me that it’s ok to prioritize myself, and to not feel guilty for doing so. Only you can truly understand what you are experiencing and what you need, so it is important that you check in with yourself and make sure that you are ok and not running on empty.

Side note: If you order food to treat yourself and get it delivered, always hold the bottom of the bag when carrying it. Im going to include a picture of why because i’m still mad.