This semester burnout has been serious, but through observing my body, I think it’s taking a larger toll than I thought.

Let’s just get to the nitty-gritty, I want to go bald. I want to shave my head and feel the breeze on my scalp. Although I want to go bald, I find myself panicking and overthinking every time I try and do it because of how attached I am to my hair.

If it’s one thing i’ve learned these past couple weeks, it’s that some things just won’t get done; and thats ok. After being given 5 midterms that all include multi-page essays, AND having homework that is due, i’m at the point where i’m asking myself questions like: Do I get some sleep before my 8 hour shift, or do I do this assignment? Do i take my ADD medicine all week so i can get everything done and feel emotionally and mentally numb, or do i not take it and fall significantly behind? Do I go to my last class, or do I go do something that doesn’t require me to be productive for at least two seconds to maintain my sanity? I don’t know where this comes from, but if I don’t get all of my assignments done I feel like a failure.

I have struggled with menstrual pain since I first got my period. When it first began, it was just light cramping, but soon escalated to a stabbing feeling. It is painful to the point where I sometimes cannot move, or have to lay on massagers all day just to keep from taking more medicine before the allotted time is up. My first doctor prescribed estrogen to help, but I had bad reactions and experienced a lot of the side effects. After I communicated this to my doctor, I was told that without estrogen there was nothing else I could do to take away the pain; and that those pills were my only solution. I went to see another doctor because I couldn’t come to terms with being told that nothing could stop the pain I was experiencing.