Let’s just get to the nitty-gritty, I want to go bald. I want to shave my head and feel the breeze on my scalp. Although I want to go bald, I find myself panicking and overthinking every time I try and do it because of how attached I am to my hair.
Growing up, I flat ironed my hair literally every day and sat through many a perm that burned and caused damage to my hair and scalp. Once in high school, I had finally had enough and went home and impulsively did the big chop and cut my hair extremely short. The reaction of those around me (mainly my family) was negative, but I had never felt so free about an impulsive decision. Watching hours and hours of natural hair videos, learning how to twist and cornrow my hair, learning what products do and don’t work for my hair through just about the most expensive trial and error, and dedicating entire days to just doing my hair has made me appreciate it and become attached to it. Considering most of this happened during my main self-discovery era, I feel like my hair played a large role in discovering/ getting to know myself. I can’t see myself without seeing my hair, I see it as an extension of myself. My hair is symbol of all the hard work I put into learning how to do my hair myself, and a testament to the long and hard work it took to grow it this long and actually do it right.
Now why I want to cut it…..I am honestly craving a new change and a less stressful one at that. Now that I am short on time, spending 6 hours on a wash day isn’t realistic or practical for me. Hair products are extremely expensive too, and I feel like I only get 3 uses out of them before I have to buy more. But mainly, I want to see who I am without my hair. I genuinely can’t picture what I would look like without hair. I can’t even fathom what life would be like without hair (it’s dramatic but it’s true). While it can be extremely annoying and tedious, my hair is something I enjoy nurturing. I enjoy seeing the changes in my hair when I really take care of it. I enjoy seeing how good my twist out looks after I took hours to do it. I enjoy the interactions I have because of my hair. Learning about other peoples natural hair journeys, their routines, and their goals for their hair are some of my favorite conversations to have. I guess I am really comfortable in where I’m at now, and I want to have a drastic change that will shake things up a bit. The real hesitation I have is not how I will feel, but how I will have to deal with others once I do it. Majority of my family still live lives where they allow gender roles to govern how they express themselves, so being a woman and having short hair would mean summoning a hell simulator for the next year. So the question is do I cut my hair, get shunned by my family and potentially regret losing something that is guaranteed to bring me joy, or do I not go bald, stay within my comfort zone, have what ifs, and continue my journey with my hair.
Unruly Bodies 
Hey!
I can definitely relate to this. Growing up I had long thick hair. So I was always too that I shouldn’t cut it. I wasn’t allowed by my mother because she loved my hair. People always told me that they were jealous and wish they had hair like mine. Which was always so strange to me because my hair was always a struggle to me. In high school, I got locks. People were so shock and upset that I’ve done that to my hair. But at the time, it was a style I like, and it seemed like an easy way to manage my hair (boy was I wrong). I’ve always been at battle with my hair. If I got a trim, it looked bad. Got a perm, was painful and didn’t look great. Straightening it with a flat iron, is so-so but doesn’t last long. After a while of locks, I was so tired of how heavy, itchy, the maintenance, etc. One spring break, I just decided to cut it. I cut my hair down to about an inch short. I was so happy. No longer would people bother me about my hair, I didn’t have to worry about maintenance, and it was a nice fresh reset. It’s been about a year or two, and my hair has grown back. I’ve bleached and dyed it and I really want to cut it short or even bald as well. My only fear is my self-consciousness and if my head its a weird shape. BUT DEFINITELY GO FOR IT. I get that you spend money, time, energy, but it always feels so right. I understand that the constant comments are going to be annoyances, but you always come first. I’ve had regrets when I cut my hair too, but before you realize it, it’s grown back and that’s always exciting.
One of the greatest feelings I ever had was cutting off all of my hair, something I was similarly attached to. It’s stressful and scary, but the feelings of freedom, independence, and confidence that come with the chop are second to none. My best friend had hair down to their knees for their whole life and recently got a buzz cut. They said that it was so incredibly freeing to recognize and love themselves for who they are instead of just their hair.
Hi! Like honeyscones said, shaving your head is really, really freeing. It’s nothing wrong with being attached to your hair and liking the routine that comes with your hair is really valid. I went through a process of shaving my head, then growing it back out for braids, and then shaving it again because I realized hair really just isn’t for me. The beautiful thing about hair is that it grows back, so even if you decide to shave it, it’s not gone forever. Whatever you decide to do, happy hair journey!
OMG! Please do it! No matter what your family or anyone says its your body and you are in control. I’m pretty sure I change my hair like every month cause because how bored I get of it, so I definitely understand that urge to change up how you look. Having long hair is a huge hassle and my hair isn’t even that long and I am constantly frustrated. Do whatever makes you happy!!!!
I had a friend who had a similar experience regarding shaving her head. She knew it was something her family would hate, but It was something she wanted to try. She felt like she relied on her hair a lot as a source of self confidence and beauty since most compliments she would get were on her hair. So she shaved it all off as a way to help herself grow and not rely on concepts of beauty or other’s perception of her for her self worth. She even made a video about the experience! If I could remember the link to the video I would post it, but she said she really appreciated the experience of shaving her head and how it helped her grow into herself. I think it could really be a great experience and like others have said, it will grow back! So have fun with your hair!