I had a really uncomfortable realization of my own internalized misogyny the other day. I’m happy that it came up, it gave me the opportunity to address it and change the way I think about things, but damn was that a shitty thought.
I feel like I’ve finally grown up over the past couple years, specifically when it comes to how I treat my space and my environment (I would like to say that if this is not how you chose to run your house and life that I don’t think you’re childish or wrong, it’s just the standard I specifically hold myself to). I’ve gotten into the habit of keeping my room clean, picking it up almost nightly, making my bed every morning, and vacuuming weekly. I actually find joy in picking up around the house and keeping my spaces clean. One day while I was cleaning my kitchen, I sat there and thought to myself “Damn I’m wifey material. Dakota (my boyfriend) is lucky as shit to have me.” YUCK. YUCKY YUCK. Why did I automatically correlate me doing domestic house work to “wifey material” for my boyfriend?? I was almost immediately repulsed by myself (although it is not untrue that he is lucky to have me).
The ability to do house work has NOTHING to do with my ability to be a “wIfE.” And I know, that was like a funny little internet thing to say “she’s wifey material,” but hearing myself say it in this situation was not cool. House work is an everybody job. I expect my partner to keep up the housework along with me. It feels like a personal accomplishment when I tidy up my OWN space, for MYSELF. How brainwashed of me to equate my domestic abilities to my marriage eligibility. Never again.
Unruly Bodies 
This blog was very interesting because as someone who is often on instagram, I constantly see women both influencers and those closest to me joking about “your girl could never or like wife me up” especially in relation to like you said domestic work such as cooking. I always looked at those types of comments as jokes but I never really looked at it as being equally degrading on yourself as a woman.
You’re actually very right. I’m not gonna lie, I never really thought about the term “wifey material” in this way. Many times people feel like the definition of a good wife is someone who cooks and cleans. In reality, this has nothing to do with being a good wife. Firstly, cooking and cleaning and a life skill that everyone should learn regardless of gender. Secondly, your wife could cook for you and clean for you, but still not be emotionally connected to you. I hope the cycle of believing that a wife is nothing but a maid is soon broken.
Its so easy to internalize messages we see on social media, and pick up phrases and say them back without thinking. And it’s scary thinking about people who are maybe not so critical, or who are impressionable, learning these “jokes” and internalizing them. I am also grossed out a little by the idea that such an association still exists for many people.