This semester burnout has been serious, but through observing my body, I think it’s taking a larger toll than I thought.

I can be fully ready to do an assignment, sitting down at my desk with the mental determination to do it, and yet I cannot bring my body to physically start. Usually, when I get to this point, I push through little by little until I finish, but as of recently, I can’t even do that. I think that the most frustrating part of this is that even when I take medication to help me focus and get my work done, my body doesn’t respond in the same way. It’s like having a fully alert mind with conscious thoughts while your body is asleep. It’s hard to not be mad at yourself in these moments, and I feel like i’m lazy and unmotivated. It’s like I cant even say i’m doing my best because I know i’m capable of doing better. Considering how expensive Vyvanse is for me, it is upsetting when I take it and still am struggling to just complete the assignment. I get mad at myself because I’m literally just sitting there, sometimes for hours, staring at my screen ready to do it but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I feel like my mind’s tank is full but my body tank is empty. I’m learning that even when I fix my attention, it is not an end all be all solution. I need to be more aware of my body and how it’s feeling. With finals, my only goals have been to get the work done and I haven’t really given much time to myself. I dropped my winter class because I need to not have an assignment on the horizon for at least a month lol. I am proud of that decision, because I know I did it for myself. It may be early, but my new years resolution is to care for myself in moderation so it doesn’t get to this point again. I hope everyone had a good semester, and good luck on finals!