Women are tired of expectations and responsibilities that society has imposed on them.

Emotional labor can be defined as the action of managing one’s emotions, thoughts, and outward expressions, in order to conform to the responsibilities and expectations of that individual’s position or job. Women have a number of expected positions that they hold and must fulfill because of the patriarchal structures that imposed that on them; mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, healer, teacher, worker, and more. Though emotional labor comes with every job, every position, and every relationship, women face a heavier burden of emotional labor because of the exhaustive list of commitments that they hold.

There are gendered expectations when it comes to emotional labor. Due to patriarchal expectations, young girls and women are socialized and taught to become emotional caretakers to the people in their lives. Women can experience emotional labor, inside and outside of their job position. Personally, I work at a restaurant where I have to constantly suppress my own emotions, in order to continue to perform the duties that are expected of me. It is expected of me to not be too aggressive, always stay calm, assert myself to be overly kind, offer emotional support to those who need it, laugh at dry jokes of customers (when they are never funny), mitigate awkward and unexpected interactions, and be the problem solvers. It is definitely emotionally taxing when it can get busy at my job, especially when I interact with not-so-nice customers back-to-back. As my anxiety levels increase, it becomes more difficult for me to maintain the kind, upbeat demeanor that customers and the management of the restaurant expect me to have. Even though when women suffer from these physical and psychological afflictions, they must continue working and go through the motions of their day.

“The point is that while you may also be doing physical labor and mental labor, you are crucially being hired and monitored for your capacity to manage and produce a feeling.”

-Arlie Hochschild, sociologist who coined the term, ’emotional labor’ in 1983

Women may experience very little space or opportunity to feel relief from the gendered expectations they face. Women who experience emotional labor for extended periods of time can lead to lower-quality performances on the job. The impact of emotional labor can include burnout, increased stress levels, lack of sleep, hypertension, loss of memory, and more. It is crucial to start having more conversations on the impact of emotional labor on women. Allowing women to have the space to share their true feelings and thoughts is the first step. Additionally, it is important for women to have fun and enjoy themselves while working and fulfilling the responsibilities of their day. Constant suppression of negative emotions and lack of any enjoyment on the job can lead to negative health outcomes. Furthermore, taking care of one’s health and taking breaks will allow the necessary recovery of the mind, body, and spirit. Women of color, especially, can feel a heavier toll from emotional labor and it is important to use the intersectionality and phenomenology approaches to understand their experience. I added a TEDTalk down below on how women of color face a heavier burden of emotional labor and what we can all do to lift that burden.

Let’s take care of ourselves and of each other.