The preschool I attended did documentary-style videos throughout the school year and by the end of it, would sit us down in front of the camera and ask us what we wanted to be in the future. Without any hesitation, I answered that I wanted to be a mother. Growing up, I never let go of that dream. Of course, now, I have a career I’m pursuing and am receiving my education toward it, but I would still love to be a mom and raise my kids.
On that note, I am a half-black mixed woman living in America. I can say I’ve been sort of naive when it came to mortality rates for black mothers in America. If you had asked me a couple of months ago, I would’ve said “Oh yeah, I guess I’ve heard some stuff about it being more difficult for black women to give birth in America but I don’t really know”. After our lessons on reproductive bodies and labor, I can say I’m more than aware now. Access to reproductive services such as abortion, birth, infertility, and contraception remains a hardship for specifically black women in America. Watching the “Aftershock” documentary truly surprised me. When I heard the statistics that “Black women are 4 times more likely to die than their white counterparts with the same symptoms” and “In Oklahoma, black women make up 10% of births but are 20% of deaths”, I felt physically ill.
After watching the film, I asked my mother if she had faced any difficulties when it came to her healthcare providers during her pregnancy. She mentioned that when she was pregnant with one of my brothers, she also unknowingly had appendicitis. She went to the hospital and complained about her stomach pains but they brushed it off as just pregnancy pains. It wasn’t until her appendix burst that they fully realized what was going on. They told her that if she hadn’t come in that day and was alone when her appendix burst, she probably wouldn’t have made it. I’m sure she didn’t tell me this story to terrify me but that’s exactly what it did.
I’m not saying I won’t have children because of the difficulties black women face when it comes to birth, but it is something that is constantly going to be in the back of my mind and I wish it didn’t have to be.
Unruly Bodies 
I’m so sorry to hear that happen to your mother. Women are regularly pushed to the side when it comes to their body that often cause them to lose their lives. Since the people in the authority positions are trained to do so.
The amount of women, especially black women, who have preventable deaths is absurd and needs to be fixed.
i relate to your blog post a lot. i am a black woman and i have always wanted to have kids (3, specifically). it is very scary knowing how dangerous it is so have children as a black woman in america. since midwives and doulas are accessible, there are a good number of equally, if not more safe, ways to give birth. my fear is what if midwives and doulas become like hospitals and doctors? if people learn that birthing centers can be better, they will become overworked as well. what makes birthing centers better/different now? is that sustainable if they become busy? will there always be a safe option for giving birth?