Pregnancy is often celebrated, it’s a large spectacle with parties and extreme positivity. It’s presented in such a good light, so wonderful and magical. But then the pain comes, something will feed off your body to allow its own to grow, you’ll be surrounded by strangers as you have to force it from your womb and then you have to pay for it. That does not sound very wonderful at all… And if you’re a person with ovaries this will be expected from you. 

There are many aspects of pregnancy that are unappealing to me that I feel aren’t discussed enough. Physically, your body changes. Pregnancy takes a huge toll on your body as you are literally creating a new life. You could experience skin deep changes such as stretch marks, weight gain, hair loss and breasts sagging. To serious health effects including but not limited to: teeth rot, blood pressure increase, bladder issues, dislocated hips and heart failure. There is no list of risks easily accessible, as pregnancy and women’s pain is largely romanticized.

It takes two to tango, but even so the responsibility falls solely on the mothers shoulders. She will be in charge of it all, physically from the birthing to the emotional labor that comes from taking care of a child. Once you become a mother, suddenly it’s like that’s all you are and ever will be. In becoming a mother it’s like your identity is taken away. As a mother you are the one expected to take care of the children and all your time will be spent doing that. There is no time for hobbies, fulfilling dreams, or adventuring-nor is it encouraged.

Society does not expect or demand the fathers contribution towards raising a child, nor does the blame fall on him for getting someone pregnant. Contraception is seen as something women need to worry about, she has to take pills, she has to tell him to wear a condom, she needs to get her tubes tied. But even then, no contraception is one hundred percent effective and many have negative side effects. It is odd that contraception is seen as a women’s issue when hypothetically, a single woman could only give birth once every nine months, while a man could get any hundreds of women pregnant in that timeframe.

If a woman wants to get tubal ligation surgery (tubes tied) there could be pushback from her doctor, even if it’s something she wants to do. If it is performed, she could STILL have an ectopic pregnancy which is when the fertilized egg starts to develop outside the ovaries. This can show no signs, and can be fatal if it isn’t caught soon enough. 

It’s all these reasons (and many more) that I fear and am disgusted at the thought of myself getting pregnant. I do not ever want to experience it. The thought of something foreign growing inside me slowly like an alien grosses me out. I literally picture a xenomorph from Alien ripping out from my uterus. Pregnancy to me means death. Death of my future, death of my dreams and death of me. Which may be dramatic, but nothing is telling me otherwise. It’s scary, painful and overall stressful in every way. I understand many people want to get pregnant/have gotten pregnant and I respect that completely. But transparency and autonomy concerning your body is power, and I feel that is lacking in our current political climate. So no babies from me now, or ever.