I don’t feel like I am a part of the LGBTQ+ community, even though the “B” stands for bisexual. I am a bisexual female in a very happy and healthy relationship with a cis male. I see posts everywhere that make me question whether I am bisexual or not just because I happen to be in a relationship with a man. It’s a complex feeling, because I am attracted to both men and women; but have only been in two relationships, both with men. I struggled for a while fully coming to terms with my sexuality and didn’t understand at first that the feelings I got towards some women had the ability to be more than platonic. I think some part of me felt shame. Not in the sense it was wrong to have romantic feelings towards women, but shame in the sense of having the fear of being fetishized. So while some people make me feel like an invalid part of the community, I contribute to making myself feel that way. I do understand that me being with a man means that I do not experience the struggles that those who have partners of the same sex sometimes do (homophobia, general hate, nasty looks). I’m not sure how I can go about feeling more included and accepted within a group I support with my whole heart, when I feel so fake. I hope that this post makes some bit of sense.
Unruly Bodies 
Your post makes sense and is almost typical of what I’ve heard/seen other bisexual women saying. The LGBTQ+ community, well, I’ve never felt like I belonged in this, but I was bisexual before the community existed so it’s not like I feel like I’m missing something. Still, there’s always been that fear that bisexual women have over being the object of unicorn fetishes and I would say that the thing you should be more concerned with is being the best person – and bisexual – that you can be. Like, so what if you’re in a relationship with a man? Know that the relationship cannot and does not define your sexuality and, please, stop buying into the notion that you’re only a bisexual woman if you’re in a relationship with a woman!
That’s nonsense. Too many bisexuals are paying attention to the social crap and not trusting their own thoughts and feelings.
Hi thank you so much for sharing your experience as a bi woman. The prevelance of biphobia within the LGBTQ community is an ever growing issue. I am a queer non-binary individual who is dating a very cisgendered man. This idea that who we date shows how “gay” we are is absurd. My queerness is not defined by how many women I have had sex with but rather how I feel and identify. For me it was very important to find a partner who allows me to still feel and identify as queer, and who doesn’t get uncomfortable with how much of my identity is being queer. I am sorry that you are struggling with validation surrounding your bi-ness, but just know that you are valid. You are not in charge of making people believe that you are queer, or making people validate your queerness. You are queer because you say you are. THank you for sharing.
Hey, I loved hearing about how it feels for you as a bi woman. I really relate because I’ve identified as bisexual for about 5 years now, but I still feel like an imposter. I’ve only ever had a “talking stage” with a girl for a few weeks but I’ve had 2 long-term boyfriends so no one ever identifies me as bisexual even if I tell them. Whenever the topic of my sexual identity comes up, everyone gets so surprised that they’d have responses like “really?? YOU’RE bi??” It makes me feel really invalidated. I hope we can both get to a stage where we feel accepted in our queerness and identity.
I really relate to your post, I also identify as bisexual. I never really talk about it because I have only had relationships with men. I feel as if I haven’t earned the label or don’t fit in with the LGBT community. I also have a lot of unpacking to do as far as accepting myself as queer while being in a straight relationship. Thank you for sharing!
Hello, thank you so much for sharing yourself in this post. I have always wondered how people who identify as bisexual feel about being inclusive in the LGBTQIA+ community. I definitely feel that people like to invalidate the term bisexual saying stuff like “You can either be one or the other you cannot like both.” or in your case people who bisexual and is in a relationship with the opposite sex, people would make assumptions and come to conclusion that the person is just straight. I really understand where you are coming from when when you said people invalidate you and make you feel not inclusive and it really sucks.
Hey, this was such a great read. sharing this experience was so validating also being bisexual hearing from people you’re identity is not enough is not only frustrating but exhausting. coming to terms with being bisexual was hard enough but then having push back that has you question your own identity all over again. Understanding this is so important and I thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you for sharing your experience about being a bi woman. It is hard to talk about sexuality with your friends because you don’t actually know if they support LGBT community or not. Being bisexual is hard because people will be making assumptions if they know you like both women and men. I understand your position and it sucks when you said people invalidates you.
I’m a bisexual male in a marriage with a cis woman. I am attracted to women more than men but the right type of guy can definitely get me excited
Sometimes I don’t feel apart of the LGBT community but I have had sex with guys before. There’s no question on my bisexuality.
But I’ve never traditionally dated a man. I feel like if had been born in Generation Z or Generation Alpha, I might have tried it in high school.