The holidays are the “happiest” time of the year.

From the presents, decorations, and music, it’s hard not to have your spirit lifted and have a good smile. On top of that, you finally get to be with family you rarely see. This is because the holidays are a point of reflection for most, where they think of everything that happened the past year and how grateful they are for it and the people around them. This is why everyone comes together with family to celebrate. For some though the holidays are not the “happiest” time of the year, they are the worst. 

The holidays can be a cold and painful reminder of how alone or lost one may feel. One reason is many people may just not have people to spend it with. Seeing others get to that and you don’t is upsetting and isolating. Why this happens is different for everyone but for some, it is the feeling of the need to hide their sexuality and/or gender.

 

Sexuality and gender can play a factor in the holiday season being hard for some due to their family and circumstances. For example, Christmas is a big holiday that we celebrate here in the US. A stat shows that as of 2019 about 93% of Americans celebrate. Christmas is a Christian holiday and many families who celebrate following the customs and beliefs of the Christian religion (though some may not). The religious part turns many people off to the holiday season, because, many of these families tend to hold strong views against sexuality that isn’t the regular heteronormative because it is “against the Bible”. This causes many people to hide their sexuality and/or gender from their families. Meaning people may distance themselves and makeup excuses as to why they can’t make it this year to avoid the awkward encounters of being asked if they are in a heterosexual relationship and the discourse that is almost always brought up about the LGBTQ+ community and how they’re against it and would never support. Or even the fear that someone in the family will discover their true sexuality and/or gender and out them. So, in the end, it seems to many people that being alone during the holidays and not having to go through that trauma is better even if it hurts to feel like they’re missing out. Or if they do go they still feel alone and isolated because they aren’t being their true self. It hurts a person deep down to feel like they have to hide from their family and not fully and truly get to celebrate with them the people they love the most.

People who are struggling with their sexuality and/or gender should know they are not alone and have a new found family within the LGBTQ+ community, who will always support and love them. Below is a poem that depicts this and how it feels well.

As society moves on and evolves the holidays should take more of a step away from the religious side and more into the togetherness and thankfulness that everyone has for one another. So, more people feel included. What’s important is to love everyone no matter what. Why feel the need to put labels on everything, especially things that don’t harm anyone?

At the end of the day nobody is 100% anything (so why judge when you can love)!