One of the biggest ways that going to Christian schools my whole life traumatized me was when it came to me and my sexuality. Being sexual is natural, but we were taught that it was dirty and sinful. I remember sitting in my religion class and being told that masturbation was “sin of the flesh” and that the first person who should be able to explore our bodies should be our future spouse. Let that sink in. We were taught that we did not own our bodies. Our bodies’ erogenous zones were made for not us, but our future husbands. We were so heavily shamed for sex and even masturbation that I felt too guilty about my own sexual assault to tell anyone. I was so deeply indoctrinated that I would throw up after masturbating for years, and didn’t begin to explore my own body until I was 16/17. I wish I could go back in time and argue with the teachers that taught us that we should be ashamed of sexuality. How could they try and gate keep us from our own bodies, when its so natural that children masturbate. In fact, children only stop touching themselves when they are socialized into knowing that it is not okay to do that in public. We all have erogenous zones, so why were we taught we weren’t allowed to touch a certain part of our own bodies?
When talking about sexuality and its intersectionality with disability, we see similar ideas about how disability cancels out the sexual aspect of people. People are surprised to know that disabled individuals engage in sex or own sex toys. The stigma surrounding disability is so negative that anyone who is visibly disabled is seen as a non-sexual human. When I was in group therapy for my disabilities (ASD and Bipolar) we talked about the importance of masturbation as a way to release endorphins if we are spiraling. It was recommended for us to masturbate or have sex if we are feeling especially depressed or dissociative because the dopamine that is released into our brains as a result may help pull us out of the mental space we are drowning in.
I think that masturbation and its benefits should be talked about more, not only as something normal, but also as a tool for mental health. Everyone has erogenous zones, they’re all over our bodies. We should be allowed to learn about them and explore our bodies (privately) without feeling immense guilt and shame. If we are not visibly disabled, we should reframe the way we view disability and sexuality, being disabled shouldn’t serve as a hurdle to being sexual.
Unruly Bodies 
I am so sorry you had to go through all of that. To be punished for such a normal human reaction is absurd. Masturbation is rarely talked about and children are rarely educated on it. The only time I remember hearing about masturbation was about boys masturbating and never about women. Suppressing young people’s sexual urges especially young girls is in no way helpful and only further promotes the idea that women and their bodies belong to men. My conspiracy is that they don’t want women to know they can pleasure themselves better than a man ever could.
I definitely think masturbation should be far more present in conversations about sex and sex education! It seems so jarring how, looking back, masturbation seemed so sinful and disgusting when many of us were younger and heard about it only in passing, and when it was specifically being condemned. When masturbation is discussed, it typically tends to be in the realm of something men and only men do; women and non-men are so absent from these conversations because masturbation is, for deep-seatled Puritanical historical reasons, so entrenched in shame and this is especially heightened for women. The idea that a woman could derive pleasure from herself seems so antithetical to notions about women and how they are often expected not to need or want sexual pleasure, and how sex should be something they do for the sake of pleasing men.
I think that masterbation is literally the first way that many people discover self pleasure and arousal. The way that sex and materbation is taught to kids as something to be ashamed of and to obstaine from. But my friend said if you don’t use it you lose it. So you should be exploring your self and the things you do and don’t like in a healthy way. Like the show big mouth talk about horny teenagers and the stuff that they do because they are not taught that masterbation is normal and the lengths they would go to, to avoid people from knowing. But then they adventual realized it’s normal and fine to masterbate. It’s kind of like art imitating life because not saying that, that was how I or the people around me acted but its similar because we would talk about it without talking about it and just be curious about masterbation and the adults in our lives where shaming us for our curiosity.
Im so sorry for all the pain you have experienced throughout your journey of sexuality and religion. I strongly relate to this. I went to a religious private Muslim school and they taught us everything you listed. It confused me down to my core and made me feel so many complex and just fucking sad emotions. From internalized homophobia, disgust with my body, to guilt of my SA, religious school truly did its damage. But I admire voices like yours who speak about this. Baby me truly thanks you. Thank you for telling me I’m not alone, that I’m valid, that it isn’t my fault, that nothing is wrong with me, and that im not broken. Your voice and story truly will change lives and i hope you find peace and healing <3.