Someone hand over the scissors, I’m ending this bloodline. Growing up, I was heavily fed into the idea of pursuing higher education and then settling down with children. Now that I’m more mature and have a better understanding of the reality of having children, I’ve changed my mind. After watching the documentary “Aftershock”, learning about the medicalization of pregnancy, and reading about the overturning of Roe v Wade, my stance on being childfree has been further solidified.
When debating this topic among friends and the most common response I received was “you worry too much”, there’s only a 0.00001% of xyz occurring, it’s incredibly frustrating to hear. There’s a myriad of outcomes that you must accept when deciding to pursue pregnancy and you cannot wish on a star and hope your child comes out “healthy”, it’s unrealistic. I for one know that if something goes astray, I will not be mentally stable enough to process the trauma and carry on with my life. Also, the fact that they neglect the “ugly” side of pregnancy shows me that they are also unprepared and blatantly ignorant. What if your infant ends up in the NICU? What if you have a stillbirth or miscarriage? What if your child is disabled? What if your spouse dies whilst giving birth? You must be prepared to accept reality and certain outcomes might even require a complete lifestyle change; will you still accept the risk? Besides, even after pregnancy, there are still many obstacles to work through. PTSD is incredibly common, there are disgustingly expensive hospital bills to pay, you may find out that your doctor gave you the “husband stitch”, you have to raise the child, etc. Even when raising the child, you must accept that there are things out of your control, and you must be physically and emotionally available 24/7.
These are just a few of my concerns when this topic is brought up. I know I’m too young to be thinking about settling and raising a family, but I do know that I’m not ready to give up my freedom. I’d rather regret not having children than regret having children.
Unruly Bodies 
I understand and relate to the sentiments you share here though; I also don’t want to grow up and have kids. Besides the fact that pregnancy is extremely difficult, the reality of raising a child is even more daunting and complex than pregnancy is. It’s not a life I want for myself and I’m not sure if I ever will.
I think your mindset regarding regretting having a child being worse than regretting not having children is really interesting. I feel the same way which is why I want to adopt children. The idea of birthing something I have to physically raise for 18 years guaranteed terrifies me. Mostly the toddler stage is what turns me off.
I feel as though adopting children who aren’t toddlers and babies (everyone wants a little baby it seems) fits me better. I want to give a child who was put on the earth and left for any of the reasons you listed above or the simple regret of having a child.
I totally get what you are saying. it almost feels like everyone else is under this spell….like having kids is not that bad. Childbirth is essentially surgery. Every time you get pregnant you have to live with the fact that you might die. There are so many complications and so many things that can happen when you give birth. Also, society wants women to be mothers but there is no aftercare attached. Mothers get like 3 months’ leave instead of at least half a year. I was watching this show that is called the birth care center or something like that, which is a facility for moms who just gave birth to be taken care of and taught how to take care of the baby. At least if the government wants to spin this idea of women being moms they can at least help.