Ever since I was a little girl, society has pushed its expectations onto me. Whether it be through what I am supposed look like or how I am supposed to act or even what I am expected to do as a job or career. The expectation that has impacted me the most throughout my life is the ideation that women have to be skinny to be treated well by men. For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with the way that I
look because of the expectations society puts on younger people and even though I am not extremely overweight, I still look at myself and see someone who has a chubby stomach and flabby arms as well as stretch marks and cellulite. Since society always pushing the idea that women should be this or that, I grew up never feeling good enough about my body or myself in general. I refuse to go to the gym because I don’t like being seen like that by other people and I hate exercising unless it’s through dancing at a club with my friends and when I am out at the club that is when i wish to be perceived. For the most part, I just want to exist in peace and not be bothered by unwanted stares of judgement and disapproval just because I don’t conform to societal standards.
Unruly Bodies 
Thanks for sharing, I also go through the motions of not wanting to be perceived due to the fact that I’m not fully comfortable with my body. I feel like society and social media make me feel like im never fully enough because there’s set beauty standards. The big butts, tiny waist, and perky breast is what society makes you feel is the ideal body. I just feel like society needs to start normalizing normal / natural bodies.
I love that I am getting to see more body positivity posts (mainly found on tiktok lol) and body acceptance posts that promote self love and healthy mindsets of acceptance.
You said it! It’s infuriating to be a woman in this world sometimes. It is tragic that we must be careful walking down the streets, when going outnto a bar to enjoy ourselves, to realx. No matter what we do, it’s never “right”. If we get dolled up for ourselves for a night in or for a night on the town, we are percieved as sexual objects for men to stare at and make crude comments. And of course there are those who actually believe that women are looking for attention or “asking for it” just by exisiting in a particular space. Sometimes it is nice to be noticed but there is a respectful way to go about complimenting someone. There’s a big difference between a genuine compliment out of the kindness of one’s heart and throwing out comments that are actually just sexual harassment. The latter is not necessary and should not be voiced.
I hear you on this. I’ve been struggling with body image lately and it’s hard to navigate accepting the changes happening in our bodies while also having to deal with the inevitable perception from others. You also bring up an interesting idea about when you want to be perceived versus when you don’t. Going out to the club and dancing with friends is probably a time when you feel free in your body and surrounded by people you enjoy spending time with. It’s interesting to think about when we choose to be perceived on our own terms.
Thank you for sharing your experience, I think it’s one a lot of people can relate to! I think it’s frustrating how fatphobia is ingrained to a dangerous degree within our society to the point where anyone who has any amount of body fat is seen as less than. It also often feels like some people think they have the right to make inappropriate comments or gestures at someone simply because they are existing in a curvier body. Societal standards are incredibly limiting to the majority of people but it’s still seen as something you just have to live with. I definitely relate to the urge to just not want to be judged and seen simply for existing, and I feel for you.
Your post on societal beauty expectations is relatable, pressures like this tragically affect our self-esteem. But we can try to embrace self-acceptance and have more conversations about body positivity so that we can learn to live without the pressure of conforming to societal beauty expectations.
Societal Beauty standards suck! I truly believe they are the root of evil in this world. Thank you for sharing your experiences and insecurities with us. It can be challenging facing these and confronting it. Because of the world we live in and the age we are living in, it is so much easier to get sucked into these ideas that really harm the way we feel and how we see ourselves. Its a problem that we have to face and address so that younger people do not have to face the pressures in the future with the way technology and beauty are changing. Nowadays I see a lot of posts on social media with people trying to be inclusive to all body types and it can be nice, but it can also be very performative too. It is all about the media we consume and how we try and surround ourselves and the things we see online to be better for us mentally and physically.
Unfortunately, I also really feel you on this. My body type has been on the chubby side for the longest time, and my family loves to insist on changing my diet and (lack of) exercise habits. While I understand their concerns for my health, their comments haven’t improved my view of my body image. I completely emphasize not wanting to be perceived, though that might also be influenced by my gender identity as well.
Your post really highlights the struggles of meeting the expectations that this society has set upon our environment. Its very relatable to certain parts of us that feel invalidated and or pressured by the constant standards of society. I cant specifically relate towards the female struggle as i’m a male but I can understand the viewpoints in this. Thanks for sharing your story with us.
agreed! Societal standards are horrible and demeaning to especially women and marginalized communities. It sucks because social media is making standards so much higher for everyone to look a certain way, and act a certain way as well. It’s so hard to deal with the stares just because someone looks different from the societal standards. The hard reality of that is that it is completely unrealistic for everyone to meet those standards.