The only time I’ve ever asked for an excuse from anything was when I was literally passed out on the sidewalk near True Grits. I emailed my professor from the health office, phone in one hand and electrolyte freeze pop in the other, asking for an excuse for missing class (where attendance counted towards grade). I was probably more worried about their response than I was my own health.

I was fully excused and the professor obviously was very understanding.

Even crippling in my bed from stress and depression, I will pull out my laptop and do all 3 attempts on my homework until I get the highest grade. Even with random vertigo hitting me, I still handled dangerous chemicals in lab. Even with my grandma passing away, I only missed one day of work for her funeral.

These are all situations where I would demand my friends to take a break! Prioritize yourself! Ask for help, an extension, a friend, anything! I would never expect anyone else to put themselves through more for something like school or a job. Not being able all the time is okay, and normal.

Does this mean that I have a disability? No, I don’t think so. Sure, I have my fair share of medical conditions that make some days harder than others. But somedays it’s just life that is making a day hard. Why do I need the label of a disability in order to have an accommodation?

I genuinely think asking for an extension or excuse is harder than just doing the work for me. The mental energy of typing out that email and stressing about the response, what the professor thinks of me, and what I think of myself, turns me away from it. The guilt of just calling off of work is so intense that it haunts me for days. Not to mention, feeling disabled sounds so scary to me. I almost try not to accept it for myself, and I have often had the privilege of doing so. But, like that time I was passed out, sometimes we have to accept our own limitations. Sometimes we simply cannot power through it. And sometimes, we have to get help. Asking for help is hard. Asking for help because you have an internal stigma around disability is harder. I know I must get over this, because my ability will wear away over time.

I hope I don’t offend anyone with this post. I truly don’t think anyone should follow my footsteps. This is just a product of how I was raised, and I hope others can relate to breaking free of the stigma of disability. I, personally, will take time to get there. There has been days where the quality of my work has suffered due to this. We all deserve a break sometimes, even just for exhaustion; and it doesn’t take away from the people who deserve breaks for other impairments.

I think often about how in class we talked about creating a system where we can accommodate better to people’s needs. Although it is quite impossible to accommodate everything all the time, there are ways to better serve people. The repairs need to take place from the foundation of our system, starting with mindsets. There are many ways I could feel more comfortable missing a class or getting an extension, and it starts with the mindset of my parents, the attitude of my professors, and my own. From then on, once the details are hashed out, a much more promising world is ahead. Think about what we could be without these barriers holding us back. I think it is quite beautiful.

(Reminder to be kind to yourself)