I hate stepping on the scale. But I always do it. Why? I know it might sound a bit crazy, but that number determines my mood for the day. Even if it only increases by two or three pounds, I can’t help but feel like I look drastically different. It’s like I have this “perfect” number in my head, and when I’m above it, it’s all I think about. To get the number to drop, I usually count calories. But I’m realizing that this isn’t a healthy way to live although it’s been my definition of “normal” for years. I’m working on shifting my focus away from that number on the scale, understanding that my self-worth isn’t tied to it. I want to learn to appreciate myself beyond the scale and find a healthier way of living.
Unruly Bodies 
Hi, I know where you’re coming from in the world of stepping on that scale everyday. I used to do it too up until I told my doctor I did that, and she let me know immediately that this only alters the view of yourself. Weighing yourself constantly won’t change what your body looks like, but only once again change how you view and think of yourself. Try to hide your scale from yourself for like 3-4 weeks, then when you’re ready to weigh yourself again for progress you can do so 🙂
I get it. I really do. Iʻve used an arbitrary weight to gauge how good Iʻve felt about my body for years. To this day, Iʻll weigh myself and inevitably gauge my current weight against this random number that has existed in my mind for decades. But the compulsion to do it now has more to do with the habit of doing it for so long than the validity I give that number anymore. To break oneʻs self of something that has become so embedded in our psyche isnʻt an easy thing. Its a gradual disentangling of ourselves from all the voices weʻve heard throughout our lives saying our bodies arenʻt enough just as they are. But it is possible. ❤
I know exactly how you feel. I’ve struggled with the same thoughts for such a long time. It’s so exhausting, the fact that a number on a scale has such a huge say in how your day is going to go. I just want you to know, I’ve come a long way from this, and I know you will too. What really helped me was when my parents hid the scale from me. I wasn’t able to step away by myself, so they had to hide it from me. Yes, I did search for the hidden scale. I’m so thankful I never found it’s hiding spot. If you feel you can’t back away yourself, maybe someone you know can be of help? I hope you find something that works for you. One day you will feel a sense of peace knowing the numbers don’t have a hold on you anymore. You are more than digits.