I’m going to start off this blog post with a trigger warning. This will contain speech about sexual assault that happened.
A little bit of information about me….I am a polyamorous, pansexual woman and I am also a hypersexual person. Sex is important to me when it comes to romantic relationships. Back near the end of May 2021 I was raped in my sleep by someone who was supposed to be a friend of mine. I remember waking up and not being able to move because I was in such shock about what was occurring at the time. Some people might victim blame and say it was because I sleep without clothes on but let’s be real here, he probably would have done it either way regardless if I had clothes on or not. Someone like that is going to do what they want no matter how it effects the other person. People like that are dangerous to society. Anyways, that’s not even the worst part about this story. The worst part about it that still affects me today is that I discovered I got herpes from it. My boyfriend at the time was the first person I told about my diagnosis and for the rest of our time together he practically treated me like a leper. He refused to kiss me or engage in any kind of sexual activity with me because he was afraid of contracting it too. This really scarred me emotionally and it’s still hard for me to accept rejection soley because of my diagnosis. Although, I do believe in fully informed consent when it comes to engaging in sexual activities with others but it has made things really difficult for me since my diagnosis to find people that are willing to be with me romantically or sexually. I do currently have three romantic partners but they are all long distance so we haven’t met in person yet but I talk to them all every day and we send photos and video chat when we can. There is a dating website for people who also have similar or the same diagnosis but it costs $15 a month to be able to message anyone you want to. As if it wasn’t already hard enough for people with herpes and other sexual conditions to find a potential partner or friend with benefits. I’m going to end this blog by saying this, you are NEVER unworthy of love. You ARE worth it. You are BEAUTIFUL regardless of your status. Don’t allow someone to make you hate yourself. You are LOVED.
Unruly Bodies 
I am really sorry to hear that happened to you. I knew a girl who had a similar experience and contracted herpes as well. It was devastating to her, as not only had her body been violated but so had her health and forever her ability to have relationships of any kind. Dating is hard enough but add in a medical condition that can impact that and it gets worse. I’m grateful that you are willing to share this and to be encouraging to others, and I hope you have people who are doing the same for you. I am also a very sexual person, it is vital to me within a relationship to have access to that intimacy and affection, and have left partners before when we have not been able to match our drives to a level that works for us both. I’d like to offer some reassurance and comfort if I can—the right people will take the time to understand your condition and to work with you through it. My dad gets flare ups and has been happily married for 28 years. I’m sure you know this, but I know sometimes for me it’s helpful to hear from someone else that there is a way. That things will be ok. And that it’s normal and okay to be sad or frustrated as you work your way there.
I am really sorry to hear that happened. It is sad that people like that are around making other peoples’ lives difficult. Being rejected by your partner because of what happened must feel terrible. Dating is difficult and complicated enough for many people already. Finding a potential partner or lover with medical conditions can be really rough, so I can understand your situation. It is great that you are willing to share this information to encourage other that they are loved. I hope that things will get better for you as you live life and that you find the right partner.
Hello,
I admire your strength to be able to share this with us, it reminds us that we aren’t alone, those who have had these experiences. I’ll say right off the bat, it is tragic and infuriating that most women have been sexually assaulted in some way or another. I once heard somone say that you’d be hard pressed to find a woman who hasn’t been harassed or hurt in a sexual way, you’d be surprised at how many women you know who have dealt with this but have never said anything. It’s true. Only recently, was I able to finally talk about how my ex boyfriend violated me. For years, I refused to call it what it really was, rape. I thought it was normal to feel the need to get drunk before sex. Turns out it’s not. I once started crying in the middle of it and he stopped for a moment only to continue after. He would constantly try to touch me and guilt me into having sexual relations and I always gave in just to get it over with. I finally came to terms with the fact that sexual coercion is in fact rape.
But we are still here which goes to show that women are amazingly strong and we don’t get the credit for it. We didn’t lay down and die or let it define us. It takes patience with oneself tp come to terms and then to heal.