Why do we work ourselves the way that we do? Do I actually want to do my job or am I there due simply to societal expectation? How many jobs do I need to juggle to make a decent wage? Why am I told to work myself to death in order to “succeed”?
Last week I quit a job for the first time ever. Sure, I’ve held many different jobs in the past, but I’ve always simply “moved on”, outgrown it, graduated; I’ve never just quit so suddenly. However, my work environment had become so toxic and taxing on my mental health, I had to leave. This was a really empowering experience if I’m being honest, but it has left me anxiously wondering and stressing. I haven’t been properly unemployed since I was about fourteen. Even though I’m a full time student now and my mental health has been suffering, I still am finding myself anxious about not having any income for an indefinite period. Though I know logically that I need the break and I will be okay if I take some time off, I feel anxious and somehow as though I am failing.
This has led me to do a lot of reflecting. I feel such frustration at this system and society we have created for ourselves. Living as a full time student balancing classes, extracurriculars, and a social life is enough of a full time job by itself. Yet we live in a world where not having a consistent income is both damning and regarded as a disappointment. Why do we push ourselves to the breaking point every day, expecting the utmost effort and engagement no matter what? I can only dream of how much more productive and healthy we would all be if we simply prioritized our mental health and undertook a balanced, reasonable schedule. How long until I run out of gas money? When do I have time for job applications? Am I failing because I’m not employed while my friends are? What if we stepped back? What if we broke the cycle? What if we chose to prioritize ourselves instead of this toxic loop of waking, working, spending, sleeping, and repeating? Not to mention that emotional labor is interwoven between physical demands, in our jobs and lives. It is always simply expected. Don’t break down, don’t show weakness or frustration or exhaustion or anger. Be pleasant, be professional.
What if we had universal healthcare? What if bills weren’t such a stressor? What if the cost of living didn’t grow exponentially faster than the average salary?
How long until I’m too exhausted to function in this world anymore, until I have to quit?
Unruly Bodies 
First off, congratulations on quitting! I’m so proud of you for 1) recognizing that your mental health is more important than adhering to capitalistic values, 2) taking action to prioritize your mental health, and 3) talking about it! This is a really powerful post. I completely emphasize – I feel like this semester has been crazy rough for all of us, working mentally, physically, emotionally, etc etc to have the “picture perfect” life.
Like, literally I’m listening to a song right now that has lyrics talking about how the artist wants to start a new life and leave what they have right now, but can’t because they have no value if not being underneath capitalism- they’re being “exploited” and yet its the only way they can navigate this damn world because of their background. Crazy stuff. It makes me wonder like you do: what if we just all took a step back and didn’t work? What if we rebelled, and took a break? I remember reading that once somewhere from a book, or text, or maybe even class discussion; that to rebel is to rest, because it goes directly against what our overworking money-hungry society wants from us. So, technically, you quitting is rebelling! And I’m pretty sure our generation is one that prioritizes mental health over dumb society, so I think generational change is on the way, to be honest.
Anyways, as a tired, struggling college student who is working to get a degree so I can then work to sustain myself and pay off debts- I agree wholeheartedly with you. I think we should quit.
It makes me sad to see how our capitalist and industrialist society has led to the formation of an economy and education system that shape us to feel like our main purpose of existence is to produce, and that when we don’t produce we are failing. Retirement is a reward after a lifetime of fulfilling our purpose of being a cog in a factory- doing, doing, doing. I found it liberating to read this. I am so proud of you for quitting. Your mind, body, and soul are not in fact a justifiable sacrifice towards staying in your job. And I know it’s easier said than put into practice, because bills are always there that need to be paid. And we need somewhere to live, and food to eat, and water to bathe in and clothes to wear. But if someone has the leeway to quit, and find another job, or to just rest, they should. Because our main purpose in life is not to simply produce.
First I wanna say that same with me. I’ve never actually “quit” a job. For my first job at Panera bread I made sure I had a new job lined up before I left ( curtesy of my parents telling me that’s how you have to do it) and for my second job at taco bell I had to leave because of college ( but in reality I could’ve still worked there, that was just my excuse cuz it made sense). Both of those job has so many issues. I would say Taco Bell was worse than Panera. At Panera I had some ppl I was cool with, I liked my managers for the most part, and I basically knew everything so I didn’t have that looming anxiety and anger that you have when you’re new at a job ( y’all know😏). There were just things every now and then that would set me off. But Taco Bell was so toxic omg I should’ve left. The shit we were putting up with. Anti blackness from the GROWN Hispanic women there. Creepy guys. Grown women/adults making snarky comments/bullying KIDS. But you wanna know why I never left despite this sounding illegal, because I kept telling myself ugh I can’t I need money. I Don’t have rich parents that’ll just buy EVERYTHING of me. My parents are working class. I didn’t quit cuz I didn’t wanna hear my moms mouth. Or just anyone’s mouth for that matter. I’m honestly a little jealous of you for being able to do that haha. Like I wish I would’ve just quit working there omg. I’m happy and proud of you obviously but also like dang I wish my ass woulda just said I’m done and went off on them and put my emotions and mental stability first.
Hello, for the first time ever I actually considered the weight of my responsibilities. A lot of my time is taking up by caring for my three nephews and helping my mom due to her physical struggles, along with full time school, and working, it is just my norm. It wasn’t until I was talking to my great aunt who was recently in town who said to me “your working AND school?” that it actually clicked to me that I do A LOT. But because it is expected of me, I deny myself the necessary and deserved praise for the work I do. It is unfair and unfortunate, but it isn’t changing anytime soon, so I might as well celebrate myself while I can.