This semester, I really wanted to start off with a positive mindset and renewed energy. I felt like the previous year that I was at UMBC, I had a pretty decent year overall. However, I never realized I had so many things that were piling up emotionally that it started affecting me significantly.
While reading “The Concept Creep of ‘Emotional Labor'” by Julie Beck, the New York Times definition of emotional labor stuck out to me the most; “The duties that are expected of you, but go unnoticed.” Having a part time job while juggling school was more difficult than I realized. The job requires customer service, so having to smile and be on my best behavior for multiple hours and then having to come back and do work week after week felt emotionally exhausting after a while. I also had a different living situation, and having stress from work and school affected my relationship with my roommate/suitemates. I felt like I constantly had to keep a smile on my face everywhere, whether it was at my job, in class, or in my own living space. I no longer felt comfortable and it was emotionally taxing and stressful. It also affected my sleep, as I would stay up longer finishing my work and sleeping late, and worrying about many different things.
In our culture, I believe that there are unspoken expectations to present yourself as a positive or “put together” person, regardless of how you are feeling internally at any given moment. This pressure is also continuously reinforced by societal norms, especially in school settings where maintaining a positive demeanor is often prioritized over personal well being. I feel like many people set these expectations for themselves but don’t necessarily know how to deal with those feelings of stress from emotional labor, since it does pile up.
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Unruly Bodies 
I really resonated with your point about how exhausting it can be to keep smiling (and to pretend to be okay in general). I feel like not being able to be honest about our emotional state for the sake of keeping the peace robs us of the opportunity to connect with others about how we are struggling in similar ways. Maybe if it were more okay to not be okay, it would be easier to help each other genuinely feel better instead of smiling out of social necessity.
I completely agree with you that there is an unspoken rule in our society about always appearing “put together” no matter what we’re going through. This is wrong because life is hard, and many of us go through hurdles and challenges. Instead of being honest about our struggles and hardships, this rule can often prevent us from sharing our true feelings. I believe that this can be harmful, as it causes emotions to pile up and can lead to even more stress. This is particularly common among college students, as many of us are juggling work, classes, studying, and other responsibilities, such as family matters. Despite all of this, we are still expected to be “put together,” which is completely unrealistic.
Also, I hope this semester is going much better for you :3