To give a bit of background, I moved to the USA from Ghana to a brand new community 7 years ago, I was pretty bummed out about moving here not only because I was leaving moving for the fourth time in 6 years but because I was stepping into a culture very different from my own with different norms and expectations. Growing up in Ghana, I understood gender roles in a certain way. Men did this and women did that, everything felt clearly defined. Moving to America, it became clear that the roles didn’t need to be so rigid and limiting to work.
In the new community, gender roles weren’t as straightforward. I saw many women in leadership positions at high-valued jobs that didn’t have to do with cooking, cleaning, and things as such, and men were involved in things I’d always associated with women. t felt like everyone could wear different hats, and it really made me start to question what I had grown up believing about what men and women “should” do. It wasn’t a simple adjustment either, not like going to the optometrist and getting a new pair of lenses after your old pair doesn’t cut it anymore. It took me time to realize how deeply those ideas had been embedded in me.
I couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe if I had stayed in Ghana, my views on gender roles wouldn’t have changed as much. Back there, no one questioned these things. They were just the way things were. In the new space, I was confronted with a different reality, one where gender wasn’t always tied to a specific set of expectations. It was like learning to see the world differently, and just like when my vision was blurry, I needed time to adjust.
I learned through all of this, though, that support makes all the difference. My family members, mostly my sister help me understand and navigate the cultural differences along with my schoolwork. Now, I’m still figuring it out, both my attention span and my understanding of gender roles. I know that with the support of my family and friends, I can keep learning and growing. Moving to a new place didn’t just change where I lived, it changed how I see the world and myself. And for that, I can say that I’m grateful
Unruly Bodies 
I really really appreciate this perspective and I think you put this very eloquently. There are so many examples of ways that we can become utterly wrapped up in our own realities and forget that there are other ways of existing out there. I think a lot of times people like to talk in absolutes and the world can feel so small when we’re surrounded by the same culture and society all the time. This precisely why I value cultural exchange, discussion, and sharing of experiences. We all come from such unique backgrounds and I think having open and honest conversations about where we come from and what we know can inform our ability to create change and form our own freethinking ideas.
I appreciate you sharing your experience with gender roles and how you now grapple with shifting your perspectives. I feel like I somewhat resonated with your perspective. While I was born and raised in the United States, I am the daughter of two immigrant parents who raised me within the strict gendered expectations of religion. As you said, no one does much questioning in these spaces, and it is hard to get through and understand other perspectives. That’s why it’s so important to share stories like yours and understand where cultural differences might come from. They not only allow us to be more aware, but they also allow us to think beyond what we have been taught.
Reading this really resonated with me but in an opposite way I was fortunate enough to be born here however my mom thought It would be quirky fun idea to send me to nigeria for about a year. Since i already grew up here my ideas on gender roles were more progressive so being there and seeing how it worked compared to here was mentally taxing. Especially with not being to control the way I was perceived and treated. The experience made me a have greater appreciation of how society is here.
This is such a thoughtful self reflection! It’s amazing how moving to a new culture can open our eyes to different perspectives, especially around something as deeply ingrained as gender roles. I really admire your openness to questioning and adapting to these changes. It’s great that you’ve had the support of your sister and family along the way, for many this is not the case.