In my freshman year of high school when I was either 14 or 15 years old, my mom found out I had depression. Long story short it was through a situation that happened at school and they had to inform my mom about it. Let’s just say that things didn’t go the best. But for a backstory, I grew up in an Ethiopian household which included my mom, sister, and aunt. It is pretty common for most Ethiopian households to be religious, as religion is deeply rooted in the Ethiopian culture. Although my mom and family have always included me in our religious practices and have taken me to church since I was a kid. I have always felt conflicted when it came to our religion (but that’s a whole other story). But going back to high school, when my mom found out I had depression the school had recommended I get a therapist, which I did. The only thing is that since the second I had gotten the therapist, my mom was against the idea. She kept on telling me that therapy would not help me and would say something along the lines of “Just pray and you will feel better” or “Jesus will help you”. This honestly made me feel more of a burden and I felt that something was wrong with me and that I was causing my mom stress and suffering. So after a while of doing therapy and my mom’s persistence, I finally gave up on therapy.
I honestly think that why my mom was against the therapy because of the stigma of mental illnesses that is rooted in our religious beliefs. I honestly don’t know if this is experienced in other religions but often in our religion, we are told to pray whenever we are suffering with a problem and talk to Christ. Several people believe in this including my mother and aunt. I do respect it as it works for them, but I don’t think you should push this to others as it may not be helpful for them, which was me in this situation. Also with time, my mom has greatly improved in understanding how therapy can be helpful and has actually tried it out herself! Although she still has a hard time understanding the benefits of doing therapy long term she has become more open-minded which I really appreciate : )
Also Happy Late Halloween!! Here’s a silly cat pic :3
Unruly Bodies 
Thank you for sharing this! From my experiences I believe this is a very shared feeling and experience. I too struggled with a parent who denied my mental illness for a while… I think it can be hard sometimes for parents to accept their children’s struggles, and then also to reckon with the fact that mental illness comes from so many different places. Chemical imbalances in the brain are not something that can always be fixed by simply moving on or praying and feeling better. There is such a stigma around mental health and I feel that it shows especially with young people and families. Having conversations with loved ones like you did is such a great way to begin to defeat this stigma and increase awareness.
I totally understand your experience and can see why you have these feelings. Balancing mental illnesses and your family’s cultural and religious beliefs can get really difficult. I agree that some cultures and some communities to see therapy as unnecessary or even taboo, so I think it is good that you were able to get support from a therapist, even if it was only for a short time. It’s also really positive that your mom has become more open-minded about therapy. That kind of change can be hard, but it sounds like she’s starting to understand your perspective more, which is a big step.
can really relate to this post. Growing up in a the same culturally and religiously strong household, it can be hard when mental health struggles aren’t fully understood or supported. The pushback against therapy and the emphasis on “just praying” is something many people experience, especially our community. It’s painful to feel like your emotional struggles aren’t being taken seriously, and the guilt that comes with that only makes things harder. It’s such a common experience for many of us, feeling stuck between wanting to heal and trying to meet the expectations of loved ones who don’t fully understand.
Hey, I can definitely relate to this post. I come from a very different culture but my parents have the same mindset as yours. As a south asian female who is muslim, therapy is seen as a joke to parents. They don’t see the benefits of how a therapist could make you mentally feel better because they believe the problem is with your spiritual side. Holding in the emotions and feelings can often lead individuals to severe depression and other illnesses, I truly hope we can come together as the newer generation to change this mindset on therapy.
LOLLLL sorry this is dark humor but I feel you. My first ever panic attack, my mom dragged me to a room, glared at me, and made me listen to prayer music until I stopped hyperventilating. I’m still mad about that but it’s funny too, in a fucked up way. As I’ve gotten older, and gotten to understand her life better, I realized that praying to God is what has gotten my mom through the toughest times in her life. And even though I wish she had the emotional capacity to show up for me in the way I needed her to, I give her grace because as a South Asian immigrant woman of color, a cultural outsider, and a woman from a culture that tells women to suck it up and tolerate some trifling shit, she has never been given the privilege of having resources available that are made for people like her. Love her even tho I hate her sometimes too!