Over the last two weeks, we’ve been reading stories about queer people who struggle with their identity and sexuality while also trying to fit in with society. It made me think about times when I struggled with how I wanted to represent myself. I’m not queer, and I haven’t faced the same challenges they have, but it still made me reflect on my own experiences with identity. I remember being in middle school, going through that awkward stage of trying to figure out who I was. One specific memory that stands out was an argument I had with my mom about what I wanted to wear to school. Up until then, she was the one picking out my clothes all very feminine and “girly” I was tired of it because I was bigger, and I didn’t like how those clothes fit my body. They were too tight, and I just didn’t feel comfortable. I told my mom I didn’t want her picking out my clothes anymore, but she wasn’t having it. She kept saying I didn’t know what looked good on me. I ended up breaking down crying before she finally agreed to let me choose my own clothes.
After that, I went straight for hoodies, graphic tees (mostly from the men’s section), and sweatpants. I stopped wearing those form-fitting clothes that girls were “expected” to wear. My mom didn’t like it at all she’d call me a “tomboy” and compare me to my older sister who still let her pick out her outfits. She’d even say things like, “People might think you like girls.” But for me, it was never about that. I just felt more comfortable and confident in those clothes. It wasn’t about gender or sexuality it was about comfort and feeling like myself. All through middle school, I stuck with that style. It wasn’t until I was about to start high school that I started adding more feminine pieces again because I was becoming more comfortable with my body. Even now, I still like to mix both masculine and feminine styles. My style inspo is Teyana Taylor she mixes masculine energy with feminine flair, and I love that balance. Reading these stories in class made me realize that almost everyone goes through what I’d call a mini identity crisis at some point. Maybe not as deep as what queer people face but still those moments where you’re just trying to figure out who you are and how you want the world to see you.
Unruly Bodies 
Why yes! I’m happy you’ve found a to express yourself and your gender expression that feels so true to you! Just because you aren’t queer doesn’t mean that gender isn’t complex! You’re allowed to explore your self expression without people making assumptions about you. You are special and unique 🙂
It’s very annoying expression through clothing is so looked down if you don’t fit the mold. Because I was very much into wearing baggy clothes and just men’s clothing in general when I was younger due to the fact I have a lot of sensory issues with clothing. And I got similar critiques from my mom about not being girly enough, but I’m glad that I didn’t change how I dressed for anyone. I’m glad you didn’t either and was able to find your own style that suited you. No matter if you are queer or not, the way you express yourself should be up to you and not based others or what society expects you to dress.
When I was little and still shopping with my mom, it was impossible. My mom would always try to push the girly clothes on me, especially for things like picture day and orchestra concerts. She’s completely fine with me dressing masculine now that I’ve gotten older and once when I asked her about why she was hesitant to let me wear what I wanted when I was little. She said she was doing her best to let me be me but also make sure I didn’t get any funny looks. I understand that she was trying to come from a good place but sometimes I wish that she had cared a little less about what others felt about my clothes.