Names and the Gender Binary

I do not like my name. Similarly to Levi S. Govoni in his portion of Nonbinary: Memoirs of Gender and Identity, I dislike what I’m called most of the time. When I was young, I couldn’t explain why I disliked my name. When I was 7, maybe 8, hearing my name out loud was something to be avoided as much as I could. I’ve grown used to it, years on years of such feelings have made me at least used to the name. Names tend to tie into the ideas of femininity and masculinity; that is, you would expect a man to have a man’s name and vice versa. I do not think that it is wrong, or right for that matter, to think in this binary naming convention. Humans are incredibly adept at finding patterns and connections, including that of the gender spectrum (Say the name Bob being typically associated with a man, or the name Samantha being feminine). However, it should be more socially acceptable to be named what you would prefer in order to align better with your preferred gender identity. Human nature should not get in the way of common decency to ensure that those around you are comfortable, especially by your actions and words. Just because it is in human nature to categorize, does not mean that you should demean or debase those who do not fit in said categories. Respect for me, should I choose to change my name, or how I present myself, should not be something I have to hope for, it is something I should expect.

3 thoughts on “Names and the Gender Binary

  1. My parents actually chose my birth name over Forest because they wanted me to have a name that was explicitly a girls name, and that when my birth name was read, it would be known immediately that I was a girl. My name change actually came before any gender identity related things, I just didn’t like the reason my parents had chosen my name specifically. I adore the meaning of my birth name just not the reason. So I went with what they would have named me if it wasn’t so androgynous and I love it now being out as a nonbinary person.

  2. My name is actually considered unisex in my culture and this is a theme that is pretty common. It’s interesting to see how different cultures go about choosing names and how we determine a name which is a sound can be attributed to a gender.

  3. I read the same chapter about Levi S. Govoni and I recently had an experience that your post has made me think about in a different light. I was at the Chick-fil-a on campus and when the employee asked my name (that is pretty much exclusively a “girl’s name”), she thought I thought I said my name was Nate. I think this particular employee saw someone masculine presenting and naturally expected to hear a “boy’s name”. It was interesting to me how I was categorized in such a simple situation.

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