Growing up my grandma always commented on my body saying oh you need to lose that stomach fat, your belly is getting big , and where did all this weight come from. When I was younger I always thought why is she saying this to me I’m only 7 and I like my body I’m just having fun. I grew irritable when she would pat my stomach and say you need to lose this. I started sucking in my stomach to make it skinnier and flat so my body looked “right”. Her saying this to me so young caused me to believe I shouldn’t have any stomach fat even if I wasn’t what people would consider a bigger girl. Now as I am older I still suck in my stomach with out realizing until someone says something or I reach a relaxed state showing the effect her words have add on me after years of hearing the same thing. A student in class said the same thing about her family member mentioning her body when they would see her and it made me think of my grandmother doing the same to me. Maybe one day I will ask her why she always comments on my stomach and why she is so obsessed with losing her own stomach fat when to me it looks like a healthy normal body.
Read more: Why do I have to lose weight?
This is so impactful and really shows how engrained fatphobia has been for so long if women 2-3 generations back still hold onto these standards. My own family is full of women who have always been envious of my body, always voicing out how they would wish to look like me. Completely negating the fact that I’m in my early twenties, have a physically demanding job, and no children meanwhile their bodies have all brought life into this world and have built entire careers and raised communities with theirs. Their bodies have always been beautiful to me yet because of this push for skinniness as the “ideal” they are all blind to it. Its sad but only makes me more grateful to have grown up in the time I have, because if they cannot see their beauty, I can be there to remind them.
This unfortunately seems to be common among family members, especially older ones. Although my mother would never physically touch my stomach she would comment on my body, whether I lost weight and especially if I gained it. Even if I hadn’t she would question me, as if I was under surveillance. She would also point out if my stomach protruded in my shirt or dress. I can also see her do it to herself, asking my if she looks too fat in her clothes or saying how she needs to eat less because she’s too big now. And like you mentioned, those situations still affect you for years to come. Sometimes I have problems wearing pants too skin tight or shorts or skirts because they show off my thighs. I catch myself thinking I’d be prettier if I lost weight, if I looked how I did when I was younger. It saddens me honestly, how prevalent this is. Of course I gained weight, I grew up and went to college. Of course she gained weight, she had four kids. It’s okay to be bigger, it so awful how poisoned are minds are.