Before coming to this class I had some experience with terrible accessibility. One of my best friends in high school had Multiple Sclerosis and was in a wheelchair. No one at school ever treated her differently and she was an amazing friend. But our school had terrible accessibility. We had one big elevator that she would use. That thing looked like it was 100 years old. It would squeak and the lights would flicker. Half the time it would be down and wouldn’t work. It would have so many techinal difficulties thorughout the school year. Our school had 3 levels which meant some classes were on different floors. Everyone would have to take the stairs between each class, but for my friend she would have to take the elevator which would barely work. She would have to miss classes and stay in homeroom which is totally messed up on the school’s part. It is a necessity to have accessibility that actually works and is not old as dirt. When I came to UMBC I was thinking accessibility would be better since it’s not an old high school in Delaware, but to my surprise this campus is so many stairs. My friend would not have an easy time navigating UMBC which is so sad to me everyone deserves a chance to experience college like everyone else. Colleges and all schools should prioritize accessibility and make it modern and up to date. There is no excuse for faulty elevators or anything like that. There needs to be accessible for everyone. Not one single person deserves to do something if someone else cannot. It is unfair and wrong. I personally do need accessibility, but many people do and it’s not fair for universities and public schools to overlook such a huge issue that needs to be fixed. This is a problem that needs to be fixed so we can be inclusive to everyone and let everyone have a chance to what they want.

At this point of the semester, many people feel burnt out and defeated. I definitely say I have reached that point. So many projects, assignments, and essays to do in such a short period of time. It’s hard enough to get out of bed and do the simple things in life, but add on all of the stress of school it feels crippling. I have barely been able to go to any of my classes because of my mental health and I can barely get the energy to finish assignments. Im craving winter break in hopes of a mental break. I just need time to breathe and relax and right now I do not have that. I wonder if it ever gets easier of if I’m constantly going to be drowning in work and mental problems. Thanksgiving is next week but UMBC only gives us three days of break. How can we have a break if they never gave us the chance to take one. Every one of my friends who go to a different school get way more than just 3 days off. The university and teachers need to realize were all getting burnt out and need some time to breathe. Its so hard to keep up with your work when you can barely do simple tasks on a daily basis. I struggle with a lot and having to do mundane tasks such as writing a 10 page paper make me feel like I’m hopeless and lost. I also struggle with severe anxiety, so I am constantly anxious about big exams and papers which make it nearly impossible to take an hour and relax. I constantly worry about my grades and become overwhelmed with my emotions. I make things very hard for myself because I have such high expectations for my grades and myself. One day I hope to control my emotions and anxiety and give myself a little break from everything.

College is really hard. We obviously all know this. As a person who suffers from severe anxiety being a student athlete takes a huge toll on me. Everyday is the same thing over and over and it honestly drives you crazy. We practice for hours a day and still have class and homework. It is such a struggle to try to balance everything. I grew up as a straight A student and never got in trouble. My parents had huge expectations for me which was so hard to try to keep up in college. My grades dropped from all A’s to B and C’s. I started to struggle and sometimes still do a little bit. It is so hard to juggle everything in your life when you feel like you have no control. I do the same thing every single day and it makes me crazy. I feel like I have no control of my daily actions because I am tied down to a sport which I don’t even truly love anymore. My parents think quitting makes me a failure, but they don’t understand how mentally and physically exhausted I am. UMBC is a hard school already, but when you add in trying to play a D1 sport it makes it drastically harder. You become emotionally drained and mentally exhausted. My anxiety makes it so hard to do normal daily activities as well. My parents don’t understand mental health and the fact that you can struggle so hard with mental illness. They think I’m just being dramatic and lazy because all I want to do is go home and forget about sports and school. I crave having control in my life and have no idea how I can get it. I love my friends here and found great people to surround myself with, but It doesn’t feel like enough. I just want to be free and do what I want every day instead of constantly doing the same routine over and over. Student athletes deserve a break and coaches need to realize were human beings not objects. We deserve to have good mental health and take a step back when we need to.

When you grow up as the chubby kid you constantly face many more challenges then the skinny kids. As a female who was bigger than many of the other females you constantly get teased and picked on. I vividly remember the terrible names the boys would call out as I walked the halls. I remember throwing away half of my lunch because I was deathly afraid of people seeing me eat. I would skip lunch too on most days hoping I would lose weight. I was around 12 years old praying that I would lose weight. No 12 year old should be so consumed with their weight the way that I was. Along with the challenges of bullying at school, it carried on into my home life.