Author: culturedmelon

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What is a disability?

https://ebuka-nwafor.medium.com/how-to-conquer-your-demons-7ea09abdbb7a
https://ebuka-nwafor.medium.com/how-to-conquer-your-demons-7ea09abdbb7a

Disability is anything that hinders your ability to perform specific tasks or just live your life normally. Some people are born with disabilities and those are the ones that are physical. But what about the other conditions we don’t really think of as a disability.

The thought of never being enough or not feeling confident or traumatized by past experiences. All of those things and many more are a part of disability as well. Because they make you feel less of yourself and hinder your ability to ever feel enough or even perform certain tasks accurately. Let’s say you hate your body and to not get judged you don’t go to certain stores in the mall so the people inside the store don’t judge you. No one might judge you but the thought of just being “different” which is either stemmed in you by you or by someone else, gets in the way of you living your life comfortably.

One other example could be some parents putting high expectations on their child and the child trying hard to get to that level. But until that child gets to that level, anything he does before it will just make it seem like he hasn’t done enough. This is when parents should stop expecting things from their children and instead appreciate them for what they have achieved so they never stay in that “never being enough” complex.

In the end, my point is that every person almost has a disability. The inner demons we all have are our disabilities because those demons make us less able in some situations. The difference is that if the inner demons are worked on, they can go away but other physical disabilities are permanent. So, it will be wrong to say the disabilities we have within ourselves are the same as chronic illness or other serious disabilities. But anything that interferes with our ability to be the normal version of ourselves meaning being at your full potential is a disability.

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Why are some people “less able”?

https://www.powerthesaurus.org/less_able/synonyms

Here I am referring to people with disabilities/chronic illnesses. Biologically, they might have some limitations but that is not the only thing that makes them disabled. We as a society, fail to recognize their accommodations and needs are what makes them less able. They can be equally competent as anyone only if they are given the right help. For example, when people with certain limitations mess up at their workplace, they are fired. Instead of understanding them and trying to help them through the new process, we set them up for failure by not helping them succeed. This process continues and they’re never given a stable workplace where their coworkers understand their needs. They need the means to survive. Someone has to step up and be that person forging their little mistakes and training them to do better instead of giving up on them.

They are also not given the same opportunities as other people in higher education. For example, an individual with down syndrome or autism would have special teachers/caretakers at school taking care of them, guiding them through everything. But as you enter higher education, you don’t see any of that. Do we give up on them as a society? Do we think they are not able to learn? Our mindset might be setting them up for failure. If we give everyone the same opportunities and put in the effort to accommodate them as well as teach others to be mindful of their certain needs, then we can make this world a better place. We are lacking the motivation to understand from their perspective. It is not fair for them to be given up that easily when the rest of us are told to keep trying and never give up. They aren’t even given a chance.

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Emotional labor is a real labor

https://www.contactcenterpipeline.com/Article/managing-emotional-labor-in-the-contact-center

Jobs that require physical work are hard to some extent, but nothing can beat emotional labor. When one works physically others can see him/her working and they know their body is being utilized for the job. Emotional labor is more of behind-the-scenes labor that only the person going through can see and understand. If you’re physically tired from work, you can sleep it off and be better the next day. But the emotional level affects mental health in a way. For example, when I was working at chipotle which was my first job, I had to deal with a lot of emotions. While I was physically working, I would constantly get scolded by the managers for being “too slow” or giving “bigger” portion sizes. Or sending me to clean the tables off because I wasn’t good enough to be in the lane to prepare bowls. All of that took a toll on me because it was hard to manage my emotions and work in a busy environment. It was almost as if I didn’t even have time to unravel anything. That kept going on every day and the emotions kept building up. Physical labor was never an issue but the emotions that came with it didn’t do me any good. It is better to leave that job than it letting it get to your mental health because some of these people will keep reminding you that you are not good enough and can be easily replaced. However, I feel like some people are targeted and taken advantage of because they don’t retaliate in a serious situation and let the managers treat them however they continue to treat them. Not only that, but the race could be another reason, a try to get a certain person to stop working there by emotionally torturing them. I feel like sometimes, the managers and coworkers automatically put certain people in categories by how able they are, and I was “less able” for that job. It is human nature to judge people based on certain visible things and categorize them into categories and assume that they’d be bad at some tasks just because of the things they noticed in them. There is a lot of discrimination in the workplace which can lead to emotions being built up and starting to affect mental health.

What does it mean to be a girl?
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What does it mean to be a girl?

https://www.craftyarts.co.uk/blog/2019/03/inspirational-female-artists-who-challenge-how-we-look-at-art-womens-day/

If you are a girl, you are assumed to be “weak” especially when it comes to playing sports. I have seen a lot of WNBA(Women’s NBA) slander on the internet as if women playing the same sport as men shouldn’t be given the same recognition. Or sometimes, you’ll hear boys insult each other by saying he “throws like a girl” meaning the throw is weak or needs work. Women and men are biologically different but that doesn’t mean they can have the same capabilities in some cultures, women or only seen as objects to continue the bloodline. Their dreams and goals don’t matter, even if they’re supported, they’re given no opportunities.

Then their bodies are talked about, given that society has now placed criteria on bodies. Some are deemed “normal” while others aren’t.  Then they start going to the gym trying to fit into the “normal” category (going to the gym is not wrong but going only to fit into the societal standards says a lot) so they’ll be appreciated by society more. These standards make the girls lose self-worth, they stop loving themselves for the way they are, instead, they force themselves to fall under the societal standards for everything, and then they think they’re worthy of loving themselves or even getting loved by someone. This is how we unconsciously perceive ourselves, through the eyes of society. We don’t ever realize that a lot of what we do is because we want to fit in. We even go to the extent of changing our bodies to fit in. The Brazilian butt lift (BBL) has become a norm now, every woman almost is getting the procedure done. The look of a bigger butt is considered attractive and women want to fit into the new societal standard of attractiveness. That is the same case for wanting fuller lips through Botox. Society puts a lot of pressure on women when it comes to the beauty standard or attractiveness scale. Women are losing their self-worth and in the end, they keep falling into this cycle of changing themselves for others which never does anything for their own happiness. The new procedure will never stop and they will always keep wanting more and more things done to their body. A lot of it is influenced by men as well. The thought of not being “wanted” by a man because of your looks also drives women to change the way they look.