CW: weight loss, weight gain, weight loss medications, obesogenic medications, medication side effects

Wegovy. It could alleviate the cognitive dysfunction of the post-viral condition I have been dealing with for decades, the bonus amount I acquired free with Covid, or both (reports return that I could brain with some reduced level of difficulty, which is rather exciting). It could cause thyroid cancer (but maybe only if I were a mouse). I might lose the 35-odd extra pounds I gained thanks to a prescribed antidepressant (if I were among the small percentage who lose 20% of their bodyweight). I might lose a goodly deal of my hair. It may be a godsend. It may make me end up looking like a Simpsons alien, and give me some pretty severe pancreatitis as well. Thanks to insurance and a manufacturer’s discount card, it would cost me $25 a month to find out first hand*.

As Hunter S. Thompson would say (about much more exciting things than this), “Buy the ticket, take the ride.” Will I take on this body project? Apparently I am lacking in gonzo or this would be a field report from the GLP-1 agonist trenches rather than my ambivalence regarding entering them. The Maintenance Phase podcast episode on Ozempic has helped me get a better idea of the matter, but at the time of writing this paragraph, I still haven’t decided. Read on to find out if I do by the end of this post.