The internet is truly one of the best/ worst inventions created in this century. You get to see so many things you wouldn’t see under normal circumstances and get to make so many sociological observations that you wouldn’t normally see. The fallout of the recent election specifically allowed me to observe so many different opinions and and really get a good measure on the way our society is set up. What it confirmed to me as Black person of color is that we really aren’t as protected as thought. Black people have a ton of intersectional issues but despite that at least we agreed that we didn’t want a racists bigot in office. Despite that very simple understanding the turnout was not as expected and it just confirmed to me that the rest of society is clearly only performatively liberal or so hyper individualistic that they are willing to compromise others rights for presumably “less” taxes and a “better” economy. Another thing it showed me is how we are so willing to disregard black and trans bodies. Two readings that stuck out to me for this section was the readings on how Black and Trans Bodies are treated in sports. For decades black bodies have be exploited in all forms entertainment. The article talks about the effect that sports like boxing and basketball have for young black men. A reading for an earlier section also talked about the history of minstrel entertainment and how black people were taking advantage of for the purpose of mockery entertainment. And even now in todays society we see white people continue to make a mockery of black people in all sectors of entertainment. They hypersexualize black women in entertainment , they hypermasculine black women in sports. They portray black men as inhuman hypermasculine brute savages that need to be “humbled” or broke in. I believe that’s what spectacles like the Jake Paul vs Mike Tyson fight were supposed to achieve. After the fight the narrative became this weird mockery of mike tyson and his legacy. People used that fight to justify their bigoted vitriol towards black people saying things that implied that black people were never on the same level as them reinforcing this white supremacists mindset that was already being fed to them by trump and other red pill creators. People have spent years on social media canceling other creators for being ” antiblack” and “not inclusive” enough only to now start posting antiblack propaganda by reposting their chosen politicians who continue to harm the very communities they’ve defend in the past. This new wave of hypocrisy is not only seen towards black people but also also towards people. Social media has (at least my side) has shown incredible support towards trans people and trans creators. With support towards creators like Dylan Mulvaney, it really seemed like for a moment people were starting to become more educated about trans people and why trans rights are important but in the real world the opposite was occurring. Harmful legislation was being passed all across the nation and no one was taking it seriously except trans people. All these things have now spiraled into this volatile state we live in today I hope people who are conscious continue to stay that way and I hope the people aren’t get educated.

Since I was a wee little lad I have always felt a sense of otherness between me and other kids. Having no friends throughout elementary school certainly did not help this sentiment. Being constantly told you’re annoying, you’re loud, you’re a troublemaker and this is excluding the comments made on my general appearance. All this tends to take a toll on the mind. To my knowledge I don’t remember being disruptive in school but according to my teachers asking too many questions is an offence as well as being generally under stimulated with their slow paced classes and I couldn’t get in any higher classes due to my test anxiety. My earliest memory of ever interacting with anyone autistic was my mother best friends daughter. She was this cute little girl same age as my brother. I noticed she didn’t talk she made sounds to indicate if she wasn’t comfortable with something but none of it really bothered me we just vibe. Her mom seemed really happy that we got along. However when I on my way back home my mom gave me and my brothers a lecture about thank god that we are ‘normal’ and to make sure we don’t have kids to late so they don’t end like ‘that’ and all I could think about was how heartless to describe such a sweet child like that.

As i continued to grow up that strange sense of otherness didn’t disappear I just learned to ignore and try and act more like the people around me so that way I felt less out of place. In middle school i had made friends with a person who I thought shared a similar sense of strangeness and I confided to them about my fears of being perceived as strange and they told me they didn’t find me strange and thought I acted pretty similar to them and told me that I might have adhd like them. After that I spent several nights researching symptoms and signs and reading about peoples experiences with adhd and how they knew they had it and once I felt confident enough I brought up these concerns to my mom. What i failed to realize is that my mom is a west african pentecostal christian and if there’s one thing christians love to do its ignore real world problems. So obviously when I told my mother I wanted to get tested she got mad and defensive and insisted that she couldn’t have given birth to a ‘wayward’ child. After that I never asked again till this day I still wanna get tested its just a matter of when cause.

We had a reading titled the “Normalization Agenda and the Psycho-Emotional Disablement of Autistic People” this reading kinda heightened my fears about being confirmed to have adhd because really what would a therapist do about it? Give me Pills? Tell me to just fit? I’ve already been doing that. The author talks a lot about how a lot of neurodivergent people are just treated like afterthoughts in society and are taught to conform and if they dont they risk being seen as social pariahs and “disruptions” in the world of the neurotypical and Ive already spent a large part of my life being seen as a disruption and socially awkward weirdo so I just feel like medications or telling me how to adapt is gonna make it any better. But who knows mabye if I eventually come around to that therapy thing Ill find a therapist who’ll change my mind until then

Mother are Dying. All across the world mother are dying. Black Mothers especially. The world is so cruel to black mothers and black women. Everyday black women endure the emotional labour of constantly having to “tone” themselves in order to not be perceived as aggressive or “loud and annoying” this is coupled with the fact that we are never taken serious no matter what we do, whether it be in the workplace, or a hospital we are never taken as serious as our white counterparts. Malcom X says “The most disrespected person in America is the Black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the Black woman. The most neglected person in America is the Black woman.”. This quote rings true today, yesterday, and everyday due to the misogynoirist society we’ve cultivated. This weeks materials included the documentary aftershock which detailed the painful and traumatic loss that occurred due to the loss of the black maternal figure in those families. Seeing the documentary made me think about my mother and how much she’s worked in this how much physical and emotional labour she spent on providing for us while also being forced to conform to western society as an immigrant. I thought to myself if my mother were die tomorrow what would it all be for? She slaved a way for a system that has no plans of taking care of her. The documentary also made me think of my aunt who came to this country to receive medical care for her colon cancer but was met with negligence and disregard and ultimately lost in her fight against cancer as a result. Even I as a black women wonder why I do the things I do. Why am I self conscious of how loud I am or how my hair looks or whether or not the way I’m dressed can be precisely as “ratchet”. Why do I let such a unempathetic system dictate my actions and thoughts.

All of this to say I hope we as a society can learn to be kinder to black women and hopefully I can learn to be a more accurate representation of my true authentic self-no code switching.