Author: plantmom8155

by

The thoughts of a bedridden person

To be completely honest I was going to write about something completely different. About my mother’s cancer and how that has all affected us. Blah blah blah. See, it is not really something to laugh about but people in our society tend to take invisible illnesses, like chronic illnesses and make light of them, almost like they are not real. But here I am, sitting in bed with 102 fever because I picked the lucky person and sat next to someone with Covid. Hacking up my lungs is no fun. This is something I believe we can all agree on. And to be fair this is just an all-around shitty situation.


Now it may seem like I am just another left leaning snowflake complaining about how people won’t wear their masks, (whatever that is) and honestly, I am. I am complaining, because I am tired of being sick. This is just plain stupid at this point. And of course, the average person nowadays can ease up their mask wearing. But this started all the way back in the beginning of March 2020.
Because of my chronic illness, my response to covid is far worse than the majority of people in this country. I do not blame anyone, as that would not be fair, well maybe Trump for politicizing masks, but that’s a whole other demon to slay later on. I just have to take into fact that this world was not made for me. I can’t live in a perfect bubble my immune therapist wants me to, so I take that risk. And I take it with both feet forward. Because what else can I do? Yes, I can petition and stage walkouts, but who really cares in our society besides the people it directly affects? This is the real problem that I am mad about. People just don’t seem to genuinely care for others. Creating this world that benefits them. As these people can walk, talk, and live freely without wondering if there’s a ramp or is this the day I finally am going to die.

by

The Odd Thoughts of a Bed Ridden Sick Person

To be completely honest I was going to write about something completely different. About my mother’s cancer and how that has all affected us. Blah blah blah. See, it is not really something to laugh about but people in our society tend to take invisible illness, like chronic illnesses and make light of them, almost like they are not real. But here I am, sitting in bed with 102 fevers because I picked the lucky person and sat next to someone with Covid. Hacking up my lungs is no fun. This is something I believe we can all agree on. And to be fair this is just an all-around shitty situation.


Now it may seem like I am just another left leaning snowflake complaining about how people won’t wear their masks, (whatever that is) and honestly, I am. I am complaining, because I am tired of being sick. This is just plain stupid at this point. And of course, the average person nowadays can ease up their mask wearing. But this started all the way back in the beginning of March 2020.


Because of my chronic illness, my response to covid is far worse than the majority of people in this country. I do not blame anyone, as that would not be fair, well maybe Trump for politicizing masks, but that’s a whole other demon to slay later on. I just have to take into fact that this world was not made for me. I can’t live in a perfect bubble my immune therapist wants me to, so I take that risk. And I take it with both feet forward. Because what else can I do? Yes, I can petition and stage walkouts, but who really cares in our society besides the people it directly affects? This is the real problem that I am mad about. People just don’t seem to genuinely care for others. Creating this world that benefits them. As these people can walk, talk, and live freely without wondering if there’s a ramp or is this the day I finally am going to die.

by

The choice

Thump, thump, thump. What a beautiful sound. The sound of a little girl tucked safe and sound within my womb. The sound of love that has come out of tragedy. Just hearing that sound of potential life was enough to bring a smile to my face. But that smile only lasted for so long… I heard my OBGYN give a small gasp. That gasp changed my entire life, turning my tears of joy into tears of pain and loss. At that moment, I had to make a choice, a choice between my life, and hers. My soul once again was ripped out of my body, just like the night of her conception. 

That night my entire life turned upside down. My words ripped from my mouth, my body taken away from me. He walked away scotch free, but I didn’t. I was left with a consequence. A big decision that I had to make, just like my mother before me, and thousands of women before her. The decision of raising this baby. The constant back and forth through my brain, do I keep her, is it safe, will I be ok, is this too much? 

She was my little secret. I walked around for weeks with this little secret. Weeks of morning sickness, hormones, and cravings. But it wasn’t all bad, the thought of bringing this new life into this world gave me hope. imagining how I could protect her so the generational trauma of sexual assault won’t touch her beautiful body. But unfortunately, I had to make the awful decision of having an abortion. There is this horrible rumor that has spread around America, the rumor that women go around and have abortions for fun, and that they were murdering a fully grown baby. This rumor is dangerous and it kills pregnant people.

The downfall of female health issues, especially when it comes to birth all started when men took over from midwives. In the mid-19th century, bringing science into birth created a hierarchy, where the person at birth wasn’t in charge. Before that, women had complete control, and their midwives guided them through the miracle of birth. This overpowering caused women to be controlled. Birth control, abortions, and medical rights are all controlled by men who have never even had a period. The right to an abortion in America was granted in the 1960s, but with the recent overturn of Roe v. Wade, women don’t have that choice anymore. Their choice was ripped away from their hands. They have to choose between a back alley and raising their rapist’s baby, a coat hanger, and death.

by

Living with Borderline Personality Disorder

Artistic description of what it is like living with BPD

What does it mean to have borderline personality disorder? Does it mean you are a manipulative monster, or one can never have a healthy relationship? Oh, it’s the same thing as bipolar, isn’t it? Or is it something that just doesn’t exist? It’s not any of those. It is a complex mental disorder that has had such a huge negative stigma in our society. A more in-depth overview of the stereotypes and stigmas can be found here. For me, living with BPD is a complex thing. It’s knowing that someone who raised me, inflicted so much pain and abuse that I’m like this. It’s the feeling of having to learn who you are because you never got the chance before. It is going to therapy three times a week, just to survive. BPD is actually when someone does not have control of one’s emotions, so they feel all of their emotions extremely intensely. When I am happy, I am ecstatic, when I am sad, I am depressed. The constant up and down is exhausting, having to shield your emotions just to look “normal” in our society. As one cannot just talk about it, the stigmas are too powerful.

 Our society, for centuries, has used mental illness, and the stigma behind that to control people, and oppress them. For example, in the 19th century, the term drapetomania was invented, to “diagnose” slaves who tried to escape. If you wish to learn more about this atrocious act, click here. Creating a stigma of madness for these African Americans, trapping them in their physical and mental cells. Being labeled as “mad” throughout the centuries, disabled people from growing into their true potential. Now you may be wondering what this has to do with BPD. Well, it has everything to do with it. Living with a borderline takes a lot of hard work. The treatment for it is incredibly intense and very emotionally draining. When one lives with this, and then has the pressure of the world’s stigma, it really inhibits growth and healing. Being labeled as mad or manipulative, causes one to draw back from society, limiting healing.

by

What It Means to have a female body

*disclaimer this blog is very gendered, not everyone that is a woman has a vagina and uterus, but in our society being a woman entails living in a misogynistic world*

So, what is a female body? Well, the answer depends on who you ask. In my opinion, being female means that you are powerful and capable of anything. However, Feminist theory and some sociologists have been arguing for the equality of what a body is. Unfortunately, that idea is not widely understood.

History and Religion

 It is very common for the female body to be seen as a disgusting vessel that’s only use is to carry children. Religion has helped with holding on to that definition of what a female body is. Max Weber, a German sociologist, touched on this subject. He described how priests ruled in favor of chastity. This continued the sexualization of bodies, especially for women. Before that sex was commonly seen as a ritual, exploring and celebrating bodies, but with that change of religious power came shame and scrutiny. Even to this day, women are expected to stay “pure” and a virgin. Saving themselves for marriage, or they will become labeled a “slut”. Because of how the female body functions, women have been seen as dirty and lesser than men. 

Wards of the State

In 2022, being a woman means living in a world that belongs 60 years in the past. In the United States, the overturning of Roe v. Wade has created a world where it is unsafe to have a female body. This overturn of this very important Supreme Court case turned back time. Throughout history, having a female body meant being controlled by men. Whether it be financially, politically, or even physically. In their book “Flesh and Bone in Social Science” Mary Kosut and Lisa Jean Moore discuss how the female body doesn’t belong to us. With the overturning of Roe v. Wade, women do not have the right to abortions, birth control, or their bodies. It creates an unsafe world full of fear to be a woman.

On the other hand 

If you ask someone with knowledge of feminist theory, they will completely disagree with the historical definition of what it means to be female. It is said in our society that men are stronger than women, both intellectually and physically. But that just isn’t true. 

Feminists like to flaunt the faces of misogynists that the female body have a higher pain tolerance then men. And honestly who can blame them. Being in a female body means being told all day every day that you are just not good enough, and that shame can turn into vengeance against the patriarchy. And as I go to marches and protests, knowing for myself, what it is like to be a female.

dsvfssdnfl

Menstruation and cramps are bonds between women throughout all of society. Though cramps are not normal, studies have shown that some cramps are more painful than heart attacks, and that it is powerful that we as women can live our lives with that.