I walk in a room and I don’t know who to sit next to. There’s a black girl who looks kind but also like she may hate me. There’s a white girl who looks fun but also like she may hate me. There’s a boy who’s cute but he may hate me. A room full of people but they all may hate me. Maybe a universal experience but racial acceptance is a game in my head. Who’s going to accept me for who I am and what I look like? There’s a divide between black and white, but what about the people who are neither? My dad’s side of the family doesn’t think I’m “asian enough”, my mom’s side of the family simply tolerates me, black people think I’m white washed. White people think I’m too ethnic, people act surprised I speak english but people are also surprised I don’t speak Chinese. So what does life look like when you don’t have a “safe” side. It looks like backhanded compliments, fear from everyone, surprised when people DO like you, and a lot of days spent looking in the mirror wondering how you can fit in. Code switching? I live it, but I never know which code to default back on because who I am is not truly accepted, I always have to do my best to fit in.