Now hopefully everyone gets the story behind the title, right? And if not, this infamous quote came from no other than Oprah Winfrey when to interviewing Meghan Markle in Oprah with Meghan and Harry: A CBS Primetime Special. With that being said, for a good portion of my life, maybe 18 years, I thought I was in full control of my life, but I truly wasn’t. To give an example, it was my friends, my friends’ parents and I just hanging out in their backyard, just chatting it up a couple weeks ago when it was brought to my attention. We were discussing about how this country has been set up, politics and even how families are set up over here. (I am Nigerian, and my friends are all Caribbean, so we have a different family dynamic compared to Americans). However, whenever I spoke to talk, I would sometimes cut off one of the parents, and would instantly start apologizing and like a robot I kept quiet and just nodded when I needed to or was asked. After the conversation, my friend’s mother (who happens to have a degree in psychology) pulled me to the side and literally hugged me and said, “This is a safe space, you don’t have to keep quiet, restrict yourself, or think that your comments don’t hold weight in a conversation amongst adults… because they do.” I literally stood blank for 30 seconds at her and didn’t know what to say. I have never in my life been told that by an adult. Ever. After talking to her, for two hours with a lot of tears and mental shocks, I noticed that I was “silenced” my whole life. I’ve been told to obedient, never talk back, speak your mind (but don’t especially around elders and men), I’ve been basically raised to be a Stepford wife. It was overwhelming that I felt like I have control over my whole life, and that I perceived myself in a certain way, but in reality, I was being puppeteered around and brainwashed to believe that my voice weighed nothing, and as a black woman in America we already down the totem pole when it comes to that. To this day, I’m trying to regain my voice, my confidence, and break the bondage of the lack of reality I had.