Have any women out there felt a conflict or contradiction between their feminist identity and desire to adorn their bodies? That is, can I shave my legs and simultaneously protest patriarchy? I know of many women (including myself) who have struggled with this and similar questions. In a culture so rampant with images of plucked, primped and worked-out women and men, it’s sometimes hard for me to decide if I want to display my feminist protest on my body or wear pretty clothes, shoes and jewelry.
When I read Gala Darling’s post “Am I A Hypocrite For Professing Radical Self Love While Wearing 5 Inch Heels?” or “Can you call yourself a feminist and still wear lipstick?” I was thrilled to read her take on these very questions. As a woman who blogs about fashion and style and who also boasts a “Radical Self-Love Bootcamp” program, Gala Darling’s work may seem to contradict itself. So she asks the million-dollar question about lipstick and feminism, and raises very good points about bodies, body adornment and our selves.
Gala points out that when we (women and men alike) display our bodies the way society wants us to, we are rewarded for this behavior. This could be by wearing makeup, stylish clothing, shaving, etc. Gala calls this “beauty” privilege.” Beauty privilege can be as simple as a smile from the person ringing up your groceries! In a lot of ways it’s easy and comfortable to conform to beauty standards when you can in order to access beauty privilege. Of course, not all bodies have equal access to this privilege. It is overwhelmingly easier for able bodies, thin bodies and white bodies to access beauty privilege. Access to money helps beauty privilege too!
Further on the subject of beauty and feminism Gala explains, “I’ve spent some time recently thinking about “beauty” & trying to reconcile that with truthful feelings about myself. A major & difficult piece of the puzzle is that none of us grew up totally free from societal influence, & so it is almost impossible to separate what we really want from what we think we want…. The place I keep coming back to is that even when I recognise that my ideas of beauty have been passed down to me from society, it doesn’t feel good to me when I choose to deny myself something which provides me with genuine enjoyment….
Gala argues that body adornment is akin to art. People are attracted to aesthetically pleasing objects, whether natural or manufactured, and enjoy being surrounded by them. Of course there is variety in peoples’ tastes, but I think it’s fair to say that most of us like having pretty things around us!
She further notes that “wanting to feel beautiful does not make you a bad feminist or a bad woman. It does not mean that you are being oppressed or that you lack the ability to think for yourself. Wanting to adorn ourselves is natural & normal — very few of us live in houses that are all function & no form, & while we COULD all drive boxy Volvos, the truth is that most of us are attracted to beauty — however we choose to define it.”
Lastly, I found this point quite persuasive: “Some women say that if we wear lipstick, we’re only doing it because society has told us to. I would argue that the woman who tries to buck society by NOT wearing lipstick is just as influenced! No one exists in a vacuum, & almost all of our decisions are effected by external sources.”
I find Gala Darling’s discussion of beauty, bodies and feminism quite persuasive. I like wearing clothes that flatter my shape. I like having smooth legs and putting glittery eyeshadow around my eyes. I love earrings and bracelets. This doesn’t make me less of a feminist, right? What are your thoughts?
Unruly Bodies 
I agree , I don’t wear lipstick or dress in a pretty dress to reflect myself on society. I do it because I like the reflection in the mirror. I don’t think I’m against feminist views by doing so.
I think part of being a true feminist is not letting anyone tell you what is right for you and doing what you want/like. As long as no one is getting hurt. If I want to wear heels, well made clothes and makeup because I like them then I should!
Cheers,
Laura
I have also felt conflicted about being a feminist and engaging in strongly “gendered” activities, such as shaving my legs and wearing make-up, or even showing off my breasts by wearing a low-cut shirt. Does this mean I’m conforming to societal norms and not taking a stance on my political or social views? This hurts me because I’m a person that likes to advertise who I am and what I believe in. I have a ton of stickers on my car about politics, science, and my hobbies and beliefs.
However, I am also conflicted when I wear a cute skirt and a tight shirt when people compliment me on how I look, I wonder if I too am playing too much into society’s hands and conforming to too many female gender standards. I also know what you mean about “beauty privilege.” On certain occasions when I dressed to society’s standards, I’ve had people ask me on dates and even give me discounts at stores when I buy clothes. I never know if I should be glad for the compliment or angry that I know they’re only taking interest because of the way I look instead of who I really am. I would be more impressed if someone asked me out because they were, for example, also a Bengals fan and really enjoyed football.
Part of what I think is that because as a child I was severely deprived of access to cultural norms and things that were considered “cool” or even generalized “pop culture,” I am now more inclined to fit in at times and feel that if I want to look like everyone else, I can. But I also like being an individual, which makes this difficult at times. But no matter how much I blend in, I have piercings and bright colors on my accessories that I’m sure make me an individual and help me stand out in a crowd.
I’m also conflicted over how I like feeling beautiful, but it’s hard to feel beautiful without conforming to others’ standards of beauty, because beauty is so much judged by other people. But I do my best to, in the end, just be me and just be who I am.
I really loved this post, it has such interesting questions in it!
I love this post and THANK YOU for introducing me to Gala. I agree completely with her assertion that makeup and clothing can be an expression of creativity and personality. I supported myself for years as a makeup artist and trust me, it was a struggle as a feminist to know that I was contributing to the beauty industry, but at the same time I felt somewhat radical doing b/c I was a fat makeup artist! My body is not one that’s expected in the cosmetics departments of stores like Nordstrom or as a freelance artist. Which leads to another reason I dress however *I* want – I refuse to buy into the idea that there are clothing rules for fat women, like we should only wear black and wear loose “flattering” clothing. I will wear dresses and bare my arms and buy fitted clothes and wear bright colors and have fun makeup!
I will continue to wear makeup for as long as women (and men) with “natural” beauty are rewarded with beauty privilege. And they always will be, so why can’t the rest of us do things that make us more comfortable with mirrors, friends, and strangers? It can be like armor. The problem I have with conventional makeup in Western culture is that we are taught to apply it in ways that make us appear youthful and sexually alluring (the psychological concept that red lips are a visual reminder of an aroused vagina) – this is the patriarchal aspect. It’s hard to queer makeup without looking like an experimental teenager or an overly arty narcissist. But if makeup gives women the appearance of clearer skin or brighter eyes and is free of toxic chemicals, and makes them feel less socially awkward in an extremely lookist society, it can be empowering. I actually feel sorry for straight men who “cannot” cover blemishes or dark circles with concealer, while we aim to be so accepting of trans people that many fear questioning whether or not drag queens are making a mockery of our feminine oppression – IF it is in fact oppression – because I just said it’s empowering. Either way beautiful people have privileges with or without makeup, and these privileges may be short lived and ultimately empty, but may not be as insidious as the feeling that you are a walking ugly face forced to face the world naked because you call yourself a feminist.
Super long post ahead:
This was a really interesting, insightful post that brought up a lot of the ideas that have been rolling around my head since the start of this class.
While reading Gala Darling’s post, I noticed something that I personally found to be true in my own life, “I have found WOMEN are far more likely to be the ones who guilt or shame their sisters who don’t pluck, tweeze, shave, conceal & highlight. (When I went without shaving my armpits, no man seemed to care. Women, on the other hand, reacted violently)”. When I decided to try a small body project of my own and stopped shaving my armpits, the men around me were either grossed out or shrugged.
The women around me, either when I told them about my choice to stop shaving or when they saw the hair, acted as if I might as well be dead if I wasn’t willing to shave my armpits. Why does it seem that women are far more likely to be critical of other women’s body choices? Ultimately we just end up reinforcing the same negative patriarchal standards without the men having to institute them.
On a separate note; Eva, I really identify with your discussion on wearing makeup, jewelry, and shaving your legs. When I was growing up (and this still holds true) my mom never wore a drop of makeup. My dad would often tell her how beautiful she was without makeup and my mom would respond, “Good, because I won’t wear it”. I never wore makeup until I was in high school and then it was purely limited to school plays. Even now, I wear makeup very, very rarely- partly because I don’t have the time or the money to spend on it, partly because I don’t think I look very good in makeup, and partly of an experience I had while getting ready for a party.
I had a party one Saturday night where I decided to wear mascara, which is a pretty big deal for me (I usually stick to colored chapstick as my go to choice for makeup). Looking in the mirror as I was applying the makeup I thought, what if this was my life every day? What if I HAD to wear makeup to feel good about my face? I consider myself generally happy with my facial appearance and wearing makeup doesn’t come naturally to me. I always felt left out at sleep over’s and girl talk when the makeup bags inevitably would appear and girl would swap colors and decorate each others faces.
To wrap these ideas up; yes, I DO think it’s completely possible to be a feminist, wear lipstick, and wear clothing and jewelry that make you look and feel good! But just as Gala Darling says, if you wear makeup ever day, try going a day or two without it. See what the world is like from another side. Personally, putting on mascara was an experience from a different perspective. I also think, in order for women everywhere not to create the patriarchal standard of beauty, we need to be more open to the different varieties of beauty, from hairy bodies to embracing our fat. Perhaps the real solution to the question of looking good in conjunction with feminism is moving from our limiting lines of “beauty” and embracing women who decide to work within or outside of the lines of societal standards.
i think that its hard to balance one’s political convictions with one’s actions always, given the society we live in. that said, i think its good for women to try – if just for a while – to not adhere or capitulate to beauty standards that encourage them to try to obtain some ideal, ie, being prettier via make-up, skinnier via dieting/extreme exercise, feminine via shaving ETC. if all women just do what makes them comfortable as individuals then naturally it is more comfortable to conform, but where does it stop, and what kind of role model does this provide for little girls?