“Treat yo self” was started by Parks and Recreation (the best show ever) but has evolved into a larger cultural trend. It’s a widely used hashtag on instagram and twitter. The idea behind treat yo self on the show is one day a year, two of the characters treat themselves to all the shopping, spa treatments, and other pamperings they want, without shame or regret for the price or excess. While it’s a fun (and funny) plotline of one episode, it’s also a strangely poignant idea.

A majority of the time, I follow my body’s wants and whims. I feel especially connected to the material world, in that if my body is uncomfortable in any way, I am fundamentally distracted/bothered. So I eat things because they taste good or make me feel a certain way — I eat mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese because they comfort me, I drink green smoothies because they give me a ton of energy, I eat salads because they make me feel refreshed and I love the taste/texture of veggies. I take a lot of baths because they are relaxing and soothing. I wear certain clothes because of the colors and fabrics. I put things in/on/around my body because of the way they make me feel.

That doesn’t mean I don’t feel shame over my level of material consumption. I know I’m materialistic (hey, I’m a taurus after all) and as someone who likes to think critically about consumptive attitudes and object attachment it can feel confusing. If I follow what my body craves, viscerally, at the time, what about what the intellectual side of me wants and believes in? I want to consume less waste, to depend less on capitalism and less on material products, but I still want to buy LUSH bath bombs and expensive lipsticks, drink fancy wine while eating fancy cheese, and generally not give a shit because my life on this earth is extremely short and worrying about what makes me feel good isn’t worth it.

The fact is that there are worse problems I have that I could obsess over, more serious conflicts to consider, and THAT’S what makes me want to take pleasure in my sensory experiences while I can. Treating yo self isn’t just about pointless displays of monetary excess, it’s about cutting yourself slack. It’s about recognizing you’re worth something, even if just for a day or even a moment, and then proving it to yourself by giving yourself access to something you enjoy — whether it’s an hour with a book you love, eating the entire pan of brownies, or deciding you won’t answer to anyone but yourself for a day. Not shaming myself or feeling guilty because I’m taking pleasure, for myself, is one of the most liberating feelings, even if every time I use a hashtag I feel kind of like I’m wearing a propeller hat.