Has anyone ever been told ‘You shouldn’t (insert action) here!” or “You shouldn’t (insert action) in front of others”? You know, that moment when you’re doing something completely normal in life but it gets marked as socially unacceptable? Sometimes, I feel like there’s this weird aversion in seeing people cry or even people themselves crying, myself included. From what I usually see and hear, most people would rather not see another person cry in front of them. I always hear of those scenarios in the workplace where employees shouldn’t cry….unless they’re alone in a room or in the bathroom. On one side, it’s understandable to see crying as a form of social rudeness from the perspective that we have to portray ourselves as fully functioning, emotionally and physically, people. However that really puts a constraint on people. Crying in public or in front of someone now seems like a breach of common courtesy, which I find completely bogus. I usually try to let people know that it’s okay to cry in front of me, because sometimes it’s necessary to cry. It makes you feel better sometimes!! Despite having this perspective, I have found myself in the scenario of attempting to hide my tears.
With most situations, I feel like I’m a “go with the flow” type of person. To me, I think issues come and go all the time so it’s normal. I’ve become overwhelmed and frustrated sometimes with school related things but I haven’t really cried over anything…..until the financial aid office happened. Last year I had to make multiple visits to the financial aid office dealing with issues concerning documents (around 6 visits within one month to be exact). The frustration, anxiousness, and overall concern was bubbling inside of me. One day after another failed visit at the financial aid office and a heated argument with my mom about the documents I finally cracked. However there was an issue, my roommate was in the room. I felt that I couldn’t cry so I tried to hold it in. I was so desperate to not let her hear me that I grabbed a napkin that previously had fried chicken on it…..needless to say it indeed did smell like chicken. A few seconds later she left the room and I completely broke down. To this day, I find it extremely hypocritical that I tell people that it’s okay to cry in front of me but I myself can’t do it in front of others.
Unruly Bodies 
I really identify with your point of view. I too feel hypocritical when I try to comfort someone by telling them “no its ok to cry”, “you can cry, its a regular emotion and you should be able to express yourself” but when I was in a situation that needed me to cry I stifled and choked it and hid from everyone like I was infected or something
I personally do not cry a lot, even though I would describe myself as an emotional person, when it comes to crying my cup doesn’t runneth over, so to speak. I think for me what stops me from crying in public (or in front of others) is the idea that they might be uncomfortable, or I might be concerned about looking weak. However, I don’t have to consciously stop myself from crying I just don’t do it. In turn I think that this makes other people uncomfortable to cry in front of me, event though I don’t care when they do. I do think crying is very normal and natural bodily function and I do think it constructs the idea that bodies are “leaky” or “fleshy” and definitely weaker than our minds.