What actually influenced my writing this morning was a Men’s Health magazine that was left on my coffee table by one of my friends. And of course as curiosity will sometimes have its way with me I began to read. I thought, “this is where the secret to getting my abs right may be”.
Skimming through I see the advice column with weird questions. The ones that society kinda expects no one to ask or for you to get through different clues. Things like “How do I ask this girl out?” or “when is the best time to get my anus bleached?” lined the pages of this wonderful magazine. The answers to these questions were too political and inapplicable to all types of bodies. So I answered them
- I have trouble holding in my “gas” in when I go on first dates because I just get so nervous. How can I prevent this from happening? I haven’t really tried anything and I am open to suggestions”
Pre-date poops dude, flush everything out of your system and take one of those “gas x” pills and you will be set. And if you’re a confident guy and your body is giving you issues during the date. Let one loose and blame it on how nervous you are and laugh it off. They probably let on go before you guys met up
- How many dates should I wait to have sex? will they stay after a one night stand?
You just gotta play it safe, speedy. Its no specific number. You can have sex on the first date or on the 81th date. If they were gonna leave, they’d leave
- How can I make my body like a model?
Its really nearly impossible. Our bodies are all different. Some people can even sleep at the gym and they won’t have the chiseled abs you seen in the magazines. You gotta love yourself already and make the changes you want according to your own body. If you have a specific body type goal in mind you’re just setting yourself up to be crush when natural gym isnt getting you there
Unruly Bodies 
Can’t help but find myself agreeing with everything you said there, mate. The fact that you acknowledged that the magazine’s answers may not apply to all types of bodies is a damn good starting point for recognizing the problem with advice columns – it’s a case of one size doesn’t fit all. And one size shouldn’t have to fit all! People are individuals, general advice doesn’t work for everyone, and there shouldn’t be such a stigma around asking questions like those presented in the magazine advice column. Your answers were pretty solid as well. I couldn’t help but laugh at the phrase “pre-date poops, dude.” And for the model question – your answer is absolutely right on!
Dude, first date poops are a real thing. Or first for anything poops are a real thing. Either way, we all poop. You know the free bleed movement that women are partaking in now? There should be a free poop movement as well. (Insert poop emoji here)