Month: October 2015

by

Yes I Am Asian and Yes I Am Cambodian

When I was young, I never really had an identity crisis. I identified as an Asian who is ethnically Cambodian. I grew up in a Cambodian household, was taught Cambodian traditions, and learned the language (Khmer). I knew who I was and I was proud of it. However as time passed, things changed very drastically for me. Continue reading →

by

Downsides of Downsizing

When I was obese, I thought that losing weight would solve many of my problems. I would be able to fit into straight-size clothing, my body would draw no notice due to its size, and I would feel better naked — messages all around me said these things would happen, and I believed it. However, I have found that weightloss is bad at delivering on such promises.  Continue reading →

by

I used to hide my freckles.

I used to hide my freckles.

Up until I went to high school, I never thought twice about how I looked. I would literally just throw on a t-shirt and some jeans, put my hair into a ponytail, and walk out of the house. Around the beginning of high school, one of my friends pointed out that I had freckles. At first, I was confused because I had gone all my life without realizing this, and now I was afraid that I would be made fun of for having them.

I thought that my freckles were interesting, but I was afraid that other people would not think the same way. I used to get picked on from 6th-8th grade, and I did not want to start at a new school and have the past repeat itself. I decided that I would rarely talk to people at school, and keep my head in the books – literally.

By the time I hit the 12th grade, only few people had noticed my freckles, but they were my friends. I remember my sister taking me to the MAC store because she was so obsessed with “putting some color on [my] face”. Now, for the most part I agreed to get my make up done, because I thought it would be fun. The makeup artist there had given me some concealer for my dark circles, and some foundation that gave me a more tan – but still natural – look. I was in awe. I loved the way that all my flaws had seemed to disappear; all but my freckles.

The more I wore my makeup, the more my freckles seemed to disappear. Had I grown fond of them? I think I had. Although I felt as though people would make fun of me for having freckles, I still believed that they were pretty cool. My dad has a lot of freckles on his back and face, and I felt having freckles was actually a pretty interesting thing. Not many of my relatives have freckles, and I liked that fact that I was one of the few that did – it gave me a sense of connection with my family, and after staring at my face for countless hours a day, I started to like them.

I decided that it was time to retire the makeup for awhile. I went with a more natural look. I slept earlier, to help get rid of my bags, and I applied Ponds to my face morning and night. My face began to glow in a different way than it had before, and I was really starting to like it. A lot of people began complimenting me, saying that wearing no makeup looked a lot better on me than makeup did – and my freckles would get complimented too!

I still wear makeup sometimes if I am going out somewhere, or just because I am in the mood to look a bit more “girly”, but I love being able to take a break from it all to embrace my true, natural self.