Transgender has become much more common today than it was ever publicly recognized in the past. I am a lucky friend of a very unique individual. My experience with her has shaped my belief and attitudes towards the LGBTQ community and how I treat people today. This narrative surrounds the experience of he who is she, a very brave individual.

Growing up my best friend looked like your ordinary young boy, except that she liked to do everything I liked to do as a young girl such as jump roping and playing with hula hoops. I was only 8 at this time and I did not think twice about it I thought it was great! However nearing the end of elementary school our classmates began to pick on her. A defining moment I remember was when someone asked her if she was GAP (gay and proud). I didn’t know what this meant so when I went home and later asked my sister and my mother who then told me. My mother sternly told me that she is my friend and that everyone deserves respect. I didn’t understand what she meant until years later.

The summer before 6th grade my friend began switching up her style of clothing to resemble my girly outfits. At this time she disclosed to me that she was gay and I simply said okay. The unspoken subject becoming spoken was a strong moment in our friendship. This was a very dear secret to her that she thought no-one knew, even though they did. I vowed to never disclose her secret until she was ready.

Throughout high school she was teased and when she went through her dark times, I almost felt like I did too. During out 9th grade year is when he began referring to himself as she. I think this gave her more power and the ability regulate herself within the public eye. In Susan Strykes article when she describes her feelings, “I can never be a woman like other women, but I could never be a man,” I think she speaks for herself and the transgender community as a whole. My friends was often conflicted on how she should portray herself and what was defined as “too much”, but I encouraged her to be herself. We would go shopping together, try on different kinds of makeup and even stroll through the jewelry and hair shops. I believe it was the inclusion of me and our close friends group that helped her to feel less like a the “monster within” that Strykes describes and allowed her to move more freely.

Today she has gone through hormone replacement therapy and fully identifies herself as a young woman. Many people can’t tell the difference but when they do you can see the looks and hear the whispers of their confusion or disgust. I commend her for always being the bigger person and learning how to not take it too personally, even though after all it is very personal.

When Foucalt discusses his theory of power. I believe that the idea of there being other forms of gender identities within our society threatens our understanding of males and females socially, culturally and politically. This is a very debatable topic but I encourage you to educate yourselves. For instance what do you think about transgenders using public bathrooms, or dressing rooms? Should there be restrictions or acceptance of this type of access? Is it because of the unknown, what if they were a friend or family member?

I think Transgender needs to be assessed in a different way other than as a disorder in order for it to be perceived differently.

To learn more about Transgender and their personal experiences please watch “How To talk (and listen) to transgender people”.