Finishing the Spring 2020 semester was honestly one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do because of the stress™ of quarantine. So, when I found out I was getting less than a 0% chance to live in a campus apartment with my best friends, I knew I needed to move out of my childhood home. It took me a week to convince my parents I wasn’t joking about moving out. It took me another week to explain how staying at home would break me down to the shell of a human. Eventually I made my point. 

My parents’ term (yes, term) of agreement for moving out: Get a job. And a job I got!

A few days into job hunting, I was interviewed and hired at Sonic Drive-In. A week into the job, I was getting used to working with repetitive motion, heavy lifting, and spending uncomfortable lengths of time on weak ankles. We don’t have restaurant mats for support, because at Sonic, we die like men. 

Two weeks into my new job, I moved to Catonsville. I packed up fast and moved in faster. I went from living with 4 people to living with 1 person. I went from being fed to feeding myself. I went from sleeping on a box spring, to a couch, to a makeshift “futon”. You could say I was stressed!

Two weeks after I moved out, my body began to freak out. From what you ask? I didn’t know! The move? Maybe. My new job? Probably. The awful bed? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (Yes.)

But who really knows, you know? Anyway, my arms began to tingle! What fun! 

They tingled when I was falling asleep, waking up, and driving. When I say tingle, I mean the pins-and-needles feeling you get when you sit still for too long and try to move. It is kind of like a vibration. Except my tingling seemed to be an effect with no cause.

This tingling sensation persisted through my days at work and at home. Then, it spread to my feet. Day in and day out I would wake up, go about my day, and go to sleep tingling. This was alarming, of course but I didn’t get scared. Until it became painful, that is.

Before the pain started, the tingles were just a nuisance, a bother. Then it became a discomfort™. I would wake up at least 3 times a night. I couldn’t lift ice or open a box at work. I couldn’t even cut up an apple for a snack.

At night, I cried myself to sleep from the pain. 

So I went to a new doctor with all of my anxious thoughts about what could be wrong. Is it carpal tunnel syndrome? A pinched nerve? Diabetes? Neuropathy? A neck injury sustained 7 years ago from an untreated concussion caused by a trampoline accident?? Some other chronic condition? Who knew? Not my new doctor!

I left that appointment with very few of the answers I wanted.  I was, however, given instructions to sleep with wrist splints at night and a referral for PT (physical therapy). While I did get one brace for my right wrist, my anxiety forbade me from attempting PT. Classes were starting and the referral was for an PT office over an hour away from my apartment. I also kept forgetting to call and set up an appointment because of my executive dysfunction… Oops.

It’s been over a month. I have just as many answers to my mystery body issue as I did when my appointment ended. I now have to balance work, school, pain, and a lot more. Before I started writing this conclusion, I worked a 9 hour shift. My wrists, feet, and ankles are throbbing, my body is aching, and my eyes want to shut. And I’ve gotten this far in the post without really clueing anyone in on my point. My point is I don’t know. I don’t know why I’m in pain. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know if anything I have tried is helping. And I don’t know how long it will take before I know any of the answers to these questions. I don’t know if I’ll get any answers. I hope I do but I don’t think they’ll come anytime soon.