From the day you are born society is always going to be telling you what you should look like and how you should act. But in reality, it is really up to you how you want to want to look. Growing up as an athlete I had always noticed I had thighs that were a little bigger than all the other girls, and shoulders that were a little broader. When I was high school I never thought anything of it because I still looked like everyone else. With social media giving me all the information on how my body should look and I was still fitting into that category. Sure my body was a little more filled out but I still looked like most of the girls on the internet. Before I knew it, I was committed to play my sport at a division one level which had always been my goal as an athlete. Something you tend to forget when your a freshman in college is that you could be competing against girls who are now 4-5 years older than you, and have been working out that much more than you.

When I first came into college, I weighed roughly 135 pounds. I liked the way I looked. Slim in all the right places from what social media had me to believe. But I didn’t come to college to just look how I thought people wanted me to, I came to get an education and succeed as an athlete. Before I knew it, I was in the weight room 3 times a week lifting weights I didn’t know I could lift. By the end of my freshman year, I had gained so much muscle in every aspect of my body, I weighed 147 pounds.

All the sudden I don’t look like every model being posted on instagram. My thighs, arms, shoulders, everything on my body was different from everything social media was depicting us to be. You start to lose your mind a little bit when you look one way and begin to believe that society would no longer deem you as “attractive” or “normal”. With this leads to so many unhealthy aspects of life. When it would come to refueling my body, I would say “I’m not hungry” or lie about already eating just to save myself a few pounds that. I felt like I didn’t need. It becomes a constant battle with your mind everyday you step on the scale and feel like you weigh to much when in reality your body needs that to protect itself. As an athlete, your body needs hat extra bit of protein at a meal, and it needs that extra muscle on your bones to prevent injury in any way it can. It wasn’t until this year that it fully clicked in my mind how much my body needs this extra muscle to protect itself. Trying to put yourself into a mindset that is okay to not be as social media may tell you to and let your body be what is best for you. My body is at the strongest point it has ever been at because I allowed myself to just let go and do what is best for me. So many not only female athletes but all athletes struggle with this concept and I feel like it is not nearly talked about enough.