My new favorite word, Sonder.
This past year I had finally learned the definition of this word. While as small as it is and as silly as it may sound it has completely changed my thought process.
The definition is as follows.
Sonder – noun. The realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own – populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries, and inherited craziness.
As a kid I could have never understood this concept. I was guilty of thinking that everyone else’s life was so easy, and that it is just me who is suffering. However, through the years of maturing, meeting new people, having new experiences, and listening to others I realized how wrong I was.
While no one I met has had the same exact experiences as me, I know that they are just as serious and just as complex.
People struggle with so many things. Identity, sexuality, conversation, depression, anxiety, mental health, physical or mental disability, and the list could continue forever. While some things people struggle with are visible; I would say that almost all of them are invisible to the people in this world.
You look at each stranger you pass by on the street. You don’t know them. You don’t know where they are from, what they have encountered, who or what is in their life. All of these questions are impossible to answer unless you ask them.
There is so much to learn from the people that you don’t know. That is the beauty of the word sonder. While it is hard to wrap one’s head around the fact that everyone is struggling with different things just like you are it is also beautiful that you are not alone. While no one knows what you may feel, there will be someone to listen and help you.
I will finish by saying, everyone in this world is unique and beautiful. Every struggle and every voice should be heard. The next time you see someone you do not know, think about the word sonder.
Unruly Bodies 
Hello!
Today you have taught me of the word sonder. I agree, it’s such a simple word for such a complex understanding. I feel like I had the opposite feeling to you when I was younger. I was diagnosed with depression, but I felt like my life wasn’t as bad as everyone else. So I felt like I didn’t deserve the diagnosis I got. That I ruin the term of depression for everyone else.
In the past few years of my life, I started fixating on myself and only stress about others opinions. But in small windows of clarity, I look up from myself and sonder. I look at the world around me and realize that everyone is too busy and stressed with their own lives. That my anxiety is stressing about people who don’t really care. It’s a nice moment, but then I slip back into my own anxiety.
I am so glad you’ve gave me a word for an activity that I do.
I love that you wrote about this! This is something that’s always been so fascinating to me as a child: the idea that everyone is living out their own separate realities where they’re the main character. It reminds me that everything that troubles me mostly exists within my own world, and gives me a bigger perspective on things in life. I agree that it’s a really beautiful idea, that our lives are so different, but everyone you could pass by could also be facing similar struggles, joys, or heartbreaks as you.