The simplest things can be some of the most perplexing things to understand. At least that is the way I feel.

Last night, I saw one of my favorite artists, Polo G, perform at a concert. It was something that I had been waiting for months to go to and experience. While I was standing there, I realized how truly great humans are.

Not only did the man performing less than 20 yards away from me make music that people loved enough to spend money on a ticket to see him rap; he came up with this music out of his personal experiences. His wrong doings. His mistakes. His greatest moments. His worst moments. 

He created something universal that all types of people can relate to.

However, the most important take away to me to be where your feet are. Often times a cliché and overused statement, but something that holds so much truth and validity.

I could feel the base in my body. I could hear him and thousands around me sing the songs I love most. I could feel the thousands of people around me. 

While something as small as attending a concert may not require any afterthought, it can also highlight what the human body, and mind, is truly capable of.  

We should learn to appreciate the finer things. (Also one of my favorite songs by Polo G)

People say that little kids never have a filter and will always tell you the truth. Let me tell you that this is the truth. Growing up as what my children peers perceived as “chubby” was absolutely ruthless. I was always told how I looked in outfits whether I wanted to or not. I felt like there was no place to hide from their comments. 

I remember vividly being told in the third grade, “Haley, maybe you should go up in that shirt size” when I was wearing my mom’s shirt. While at the time I did not want to show them that I was hurting, I ran home and cried anyway. 

I was so embarrassed by everything that I did not want to tell my parents. I hid it from everyone. 

This always made me second guess what I was wearing . This was a daunting thing that haunted me growing up. 

I think these occurrences can be faulted to several things. Body Image as well as the way people perceive each other. 

Body image is something that I will always struggle with. But as the years pass, I get better with my mindset. 

However, the way people perceive each other have a long way to grow. I think in general people in this world categorize kids and adults being heavier as a negative thing. People seem to pray on those who are bigger than themselves. 

Weight should not be perceived as anything other than a personal choice. 

I just wish I could teach some of the world to be kinder. 

My new favorite word, Sonder. 

This past year I had finally learned the definition of this word. While as small as it is and as silly as it may sound it has completely changed my thought process. 

The definition is as follows. 

Sonder – noun. The realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own – populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries, and inherited craziness.

As a kid I could have never understood this concept. I was guilty of thinking that everyone else’s life was so easy, and that it is just me who is suffering. However, through the years of maturing, meeting new people, having new experiences, and listening to others I realized how wrong I was.

While no one I met has had the same exact experiences as me, I know that they are just as serious and just as complex.

People struggle with so many things. Identity, sexuality, conversation, depression, anxiety, mental health, physical or mental disability, and the list could continue forever. While some things people struggle with are visible; I would say that almost all of them are invisible to the people in this world. 

You look at each stranger you pass by on the street. You don’t know them. You don’t know where they are from, what they have encountered, who or what is in their life. All of these questions are impossible to answer unless you ask them.

There is so much to learn from the people that you don’t know. That is the beauty of the word sonder. While it is hard to wrap one’s head around the fact that everyone is struggling with different things just like you are it is also beautiful that you are not alone. While no one knows what you may feel, there will be someone to listen and help you. 

I will finish by saying, everyone in this world is unique and beautiful. Every struggle and every voice should be heard. The next time you see someone you do not know, think about the word sonder. 

The idea of belonging in society is a scary one. Who am I? Who am I supposed to be? What am I supposed to do? These are questions that I find myself asking everyday. It seems no matter what you do you are judged or looked at for being different; but then again what is normal? One of the biggest struggles in the midst of all of this is how I define myself athletically. I have lived my whole life identifying as an athlete and acting in such manner. Now that I have entered college I have been hit with the brutal reality that it is not just enough to be an athlete. I am forced to truly figure out who I am and what all I value. This has been a daunting challenge. How am I supposed to maintain my happiness while still aligning with the standards that society and the athletic world has set for me? How am I supposed to react if I do not play? If I no longer want to play this sport anymore? There are so many unanswered questions that I am unite frankly too scared to even attempt to answer. The sense of belonging used to be something that I felt safe and content with. I never felt the need to extend myself or felt the need to discover who I really am? As this journey of self identity and self discovery continues I need the constant reminder of do not lose sight of myself, even if that means falling out of touch with what society, or the athletics world, wants from me. Identity does not have to be something that is a linear discovery. And more importantly identity is not something that people can decide for you. It involves the hard and tough questions and challenges that you don’t want to answer, but instead you have to.