Having a meaningful, long-lasting conversation with my father has always been difficult for me. Sometimes he can drain all the energy from you with his pessimism. Despite this, there has always been one thing the two of us can talk about animatedly for hours: and that’s football. My dad started bringing me to Ravens games when I was a kid; these times together allowed us to not think about any of our issues. While I have always loved the game, it is hard to ignore the glaring toxic and racist masculinity that occurs in the league.
Last week, the head coach of the Las Vegas Raiders, Jon Gruden, had been found using various racist, homophobic, and misogynistic insults in emails from 2011-2018. As a result, Gruden resigned from his position. I 100% agree that Gruden should have been removed. What I question more is; what does it say about the corporate NFL environment that he felt comfortable to use such language for such a long time? And if he gets removed for this, what about the sexual harassment allegations against Washington’s Dan Snyder? Furthermore, what about the countless players that have had domestic violence charges?
In recent years, athletes who speak up about racial injustices have been told to “just stick to sports”. When you speak out, you get ostracized and invalidated. While there has been some notable progress like player campaigns for mental health awareness, Carl Nassib coming out as the first active gay player (and receiving a lot of support), and clubs explicitly supporting Black Lives Matter, there is still a very noticeable tension about standing up for equality. This dynamic around the NFL is one I can correlate to the relationship I have with my dad; we watch football and try to repress the other issues of our lives.
I believe that combining dangerous “locker room talk” attitudes with the toxic masculine tendency to repress allows the issues of the NFL to fester. They have removed several leaders for controversies like Gruden’s, yet the scandals still occur. To engage in true progress, the organization must have an open dialogue with the administrations, players and even fans about the very important issues these “scandals” are about. It is difficult to talk about the uncomfortable issues of life but it is vital if we are to expect substantial change.
Unruly Bodies 
You raise really good points here. I can relate because my dad and I also had a conversation on this topic, and I know what you mean when you say that can be draining. My father doesnt really understand that because of their high profile jobs, they cannot ‘just stick to sports’. People within the NFL are famous and therefore their actions will be analyzed and replicated, I find it is important to utilize that in ways to promote modern and progressive ideals. It is important to have the conversations at home with your loved ones in healthy, productive ways and I’m glad you took the time to highlight that in your blog post.
What’s very interesting here is that I agree with you question regarding why it took so long for any action to be done because there’s people like Colin Kapernick who got ridiculed for his solidarity to the black community. Like everyone had something to say but instead this coach got away with his remarks for years which is ridiculous.
And Kaepernick got publicly blacklisted from the league as well. Gruden was able to hold a job, be idolized and allowed to continue feeling comfortable engaging in verbal violence. When someone like Kaepernick speaks up for something that is right, they are punished, but when someone like Gruden lurks in the background they are rewarded.
I don’t know a lot about football, but I have a lot of personal experience with, as you explain it, “combining dangerous “locker room talk” attitudes with the toxic masculine tendency to repress.” I played hockey from 2019-2020. As a queer person playing hockey with lots of cis, macho men, I faced a lot of harassment. I was constantly bullied, called the f-slur, and looked down upon for not being a man. This treatment was not unseen or unnoticed by the rest of the players on the team, however, it was just accepted as “locker room talk.” Even my coaches told me to just toughen up and ride it out. I completely agree that there needs to be serious reform in sport attitudes.
First of all, Im terribly sorry about your experience! Additionally yes, I think it is very important to have people in the locker room speak up against this talk. Especially super aggressive events like you describe! Sometimes locker room talk is disguised as “jokes” but the fact that blatant ignorance can continue is really upsetting.
As much As I love the NFL as the next person, I do 100% agree with you. The NFL as a business and company is 1000% racist. They cover up a lot of stuff because the company generates billions of dollars. I do believe that is wrong and something should be done in order for it to be better. It all boils down back to the Kap situation and the display The NFl showed
I’m not much of a football person, but the rest of my family sure is. And there were countless times where we would be watching a game and see people try to speak out about different issues and be simply disgusted towards how the players would be ostracized for trying to use their platform to speak out. It is truly sad when you watch people be broken down by society for simply trying to simply bring awareness to the injustices of society