I finally asked for help at work. Between midterms and the start of the holiday season, I was starting to become buried in work. For me, the state of being burnt out is comfortably-uncomfortable. Despite feeling miserable, I tell myself it is easier to just power through and get to the end. And honestly, I am just afraid to ask for help. For some reason it is more comfortable to try and power through instead of telling someone I am struggling. In class we talked about the urge to just power through our obligations; it made me realize, why am I putting myself through this?
During my most recent shift I stepped back from the register during a rush and walked to the back office. I told my store manager I was tired of being at the front every shift and she validated my feelings. It was so strange to actually have something go my way for once! What I don’t understand about myself in this experience is I knew my managers were accommodating. Yet I still let myself slip into burn out. People, including myself, can feel ashamed in admitting they need help, or they feel they have no other option. I convinced myself people would think I was being dramatic or just trying to get out of work.
While I knew my managers would be understanding, they still did not make consistent attempts to make sure their employees were doing okay. When I was hired, they told me they would do regular check-ins to evaluate wellness, yet I have not had one such discussion in the year I have worked there. I believe that managers need to regularly and empathetically check in with their staff and allow employees to rotate rolls as needed. This creates a trustful environment where the staff feels comfortable to approach managers for help.
Unruly Bodies 
Hi!
I’m glad to hear that you finally became comfortable with asking for help and especially the fact that they validated your feelings and tried to accommodate you because unfortunately many authoritative positions can invalidate individuals feelings because they are more caught up with the money aspect and just getting through with the task at hand.
Wow! Thats wonderful, so exciting that your feelings were heard and accommodated for. Asking for help is so hard and it feels as though taking the time to work up the courage to ask for something is more daunting than the response you might receive. But, nevertheless its a necessary skill to have because living a life where you feel constantly uncomfortable is not a life well lived. Good luck on the rest of your semester!
I resonate with this so much! At one of my old jobs before the pandemic, my boss was very “push thru it” and had that attitude about the smallest things. Also, my dad was like that while I was growing up, so it’s been instilled in me for a long time. Reading your post makes me feel validated to stand up for my needs and feel okay about not stretching myself so thin, so thank you! Proud of you for sticking to your needs and boundaries! 🙂
My dad is also like this too! Its like a competition with him for who has it worse. Whenever im exhausted from work/school/depression/anxiety he’s always like “Get over it kid, ive woken up at 3 am for 20 years, thats life”. Its extremely disheartening for myself but also to see him just accept his struggle. I wish he would realize he deserves better and doesn’t have to put himself through that. It is a toxic mentality that I hope we can grow out of and make sure we get what we need!
It does suck that our parents think that is normal to deal with, and I wish their feelings were validated enough for them to validate ours. I get it 100%… hang in there. We’re doing the best we can with the tools we have, and learning so much along the way. It’s not an easy thing we have to undo, but we have to be better than that mentality of “suck it up”. I believe our generation will make a huge impact on the next one. We got this!
I am so glad you listened to yourself! I feel this 100% because I am such a yes person. I try so so hard not to be but when work especially asks, I’m their gal. Burn out I feel has been at an all time high recently, and it is really hard not to get trapped in it and just push through. Your post has inspired me to listen more to myself and not just answer to those around me!
I also say ‘yes’ way too much!! I feel like I am expected to be available 100% of the time and if im not available for even for 99% of the time, I feel like im failing or letting people down. Ive been trying to be more “selfish” lately. Even though I believe it’s not selfish to take care of yourself, we have been conditioned to think that it is. But ultimately we deserve to be not just healthy but also happy.
Honestly, this is something that I’ve been strongly til this very day. It’s very hard for me to swallow my pride and ask for help until it’s too late, and I make a mistake and the whole house of cards comes falling down. I guess, it’s because I was kind of a failure when I was younger, so I wanted to be someone who was not, but then I got stuck in a cycle of failing, and now I’m here, still struggling. Well, good for you on improving.