This post is kind of like a diary of how I currently feel. Lately, all I want to do is isolate myself from everything. The pressure of graduating in a year is really starting to hit me, and it feels like I should start figuring everything out, yet feels so far away. Sometimes it’s hard to stay grounded and not lose focus of the end goal. It’s really been hard to manage time and emotions, especially after the pandemic getting right back into the routine of things has been hard, even a whole year later…
Also, it feels like for some reason as you get older, people start to kind of disappear from your life. Maybe it’s a me thing, i’m not so sure to be honest, but I feel like as I get older, the less family I see, the less friends I have, and the more involved with being alone I am. Am I an introvert and didn’t know it? I used to love socializing and interacting with friends, but lately it feels different. It feels like everyone has a secret agenda or a way they feel about you but don’t want to say it. I guess it’s harder for me to find genuine connection, and when I do, I get really attached and feel like I am overwhelming people. It’s just been hard to find my space and figure things out… but I’m optimistic it won’t always be like this. It’s just a season of my life that I have to go through.
Unruly Bodies 
I can definitely relate to this feeling. I am only a junior, yet I also feel like I should start to plan out my entire life after I graduate. I am a pretty introverted person and usually I need about 2 hours a day to just be in my room alone, so again, I can relate to your feelings. However, I think that it is especially important to continue to communicate often with friends and family, even when you don’t feel like it. Sometimes just a short chat with a family member can help to brighten your day, even if you don’t expect it to. Im glad you are optimistic and I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors!
Honestly, I feel the same way. School was something I was excited about when I first got to college. I never had any real issues with my grades because I always did what I was supposed to because I was supposed to. Back then though, i physically isolated myself from everything and I had no social life. Now i have multiple friend groups and people want to see me all the time and it drives me absolutely insane. I don’t like people, I especially feel uncomfortable around people I don’t know and grown adults specifically. As the semester comes to an end I have become more social and surprisingly it has helped me, but I have become further and further away from my family. i don’t want to graduate. I like the bubble I live in and I am afraid the moment I leave college I won’t find a good enough job, my family will be disappointed with me, all my friends will slowly drift away like my highschool friends once did, and once again like the beginning of college I will be alone isolating myself. I wish I had optimism but I hate being disappointed so I keep these thoughts in my mind so at least I will be prepared if it does. Maybe life will get better after graduation, I don’t know.
This really hit home for me. I’m a junior and even though graduation is over a year away, it’s always on my mind and something Im preparing for. School for me has been such a safe space and a way to dodge this life questions everyone gets at thanksgiving.I don’t think anyone feels prepared to “take on the world”. It’s so wild that we are working so hard for that diploma and once we have it, we kind of have to start over again.
Like the people the commented before me, I really relate to this post as well. I think we get stuck in this pattern of thinking we need to get everything all figured out while also listening to people tell us that we don’t need to know what we are doing with our lives (but its advice coming from people who have a job, a living space, a family etc.). I want to say that you should not feel like you are less because you don’t have a routine. We are still in a pandemic. Its still weird, we are still in unprecedented times. We are in college during a time that no one had expected and you’re doing it! even if it does not feel like you are managing yourself and surviving.
Like everyone, I can really relate. I am only a junior but the pressure of graduation as well as succeeding in life haunts me. I am so scared to let people down, it makes me act different. I can also agree with the statement about people leaving your life. I feel like the older I got the smaller and smaller my circle became. While this is not always a bad thing it is definitely scary. I am sorry you feel all of this, but know you are not alone.
Thank you for opening up about how you’re feeling. Your second part in which you feel like people in your life are disappearing, I couldn’t help but give a sad smile, I know the feeling all too well, it’s the realization of absence, the moment you turn to the person next to you, only to see there isn’t anyone there. It’s isolating. I know it’s corny to say but friends and people in our lives are like stars, sometimes you don’t see them (during the day), but they’re still there shining their light. It’s scary and anxiety inducing to be so close to such a big life moment (graduation) but I believe that you can do it, it feels so far away and scary, but once you have that degree in hand you’ll be able to take a deep breath and just say “I did this.”.
I just wanted to start with a thank you for sharing your experience, as well as you are not alone with feeling like that. I am glad that you are optimistic and you are valid in your feelings, it is very overwhelming because it does feel like an expectation that we all figure our shit out.
I completely connected with every experience relayed in this post. I never realized how many others felt this way, in regards to where they are in life. The developing fear and anxiety of “growing up,” and whether I will make it or not have become my “daily struggles.” It also does not help that my social life is seemingly changing as I get older. The social events I used to enjoy are no longer what they used to be. For me, the months/years feel longer but shorter at the same time. The enjoyable memories are becoming less and less. Thank you for your post, and best of luck.
This was the first blog post I read and I feel like I was meant to read it to make me realize that I’m not alone in feeling this way. Reading all the comments helped even more. It’s important to understand that it’s okay to not have everything figured out and we probably won’t anytime soon. To your point of feeling alone, I just wanted to say that I recently just learned how to be comfortable alone. I’m not going to lie to you and say I’m 100% there but I have most definitely made progress. All this to say I suggest you take small steps in learning to do things alone weather it be taking yourself out to lunch, coffee, or dinner. Growing up can be pretty lonely, but if you learn to be comfortable on your own it’ll be a better. Don’t forget that we are ONLY in our early 20s and have a ton of life ahead of us!
I have never related so much to a post in my life! I have always had a fear of growing up but at this point the fear has officially turned 100% into stress. I’m stuck between I’m so old and grown up and then also I have 2 years of college left. If I can share on piece of advice is that the most important thing to know is that it is okay to not have everything figured out. I’m proud of you!
I feel you. I am constantly stressed and worried about making sure I can even graduate. Its this constant circle of stress and completing assignments and it can drive you insane. I completely understand how it feels when you say you feel like you see less and less people. I used to have many many friends now I see maybe 2 and its a little sad to be honest. We’re growing up, but we’re still young and we all need to take a break and breathe. Trust me I know it’s not easy but we all got this!
I understand what you’re saying and in ways I can relate to this. I’m in my forth year and I’m not graduating until 2023. I needed to stay an additional semester anyway but its a personal decision to stay the whole year. While I’ve kinda come to this conclusion, I still haven’t been doing what I need to do for my future. It feels better knowing that I have more time but regardless if you’re not doing what you need to do, fuck. I can imagine the stress you’re feeling but remember you’ve made it this far. And with feeling less social and feeling as if you’re loosing people in your life as you get older could be due to multiple things. I’ve felt that way because of covid, because my friends are really starting to do their own thing now, because certain people’s and I’s values don’t align anymore, etc.. I think overall as time goes on it can be natural for it to feel like this (even though it doesn’t feel good), but with time there is also more opportunities for interactions and new relationships with others.