There is always an idea of who is allowed and who is not allowed to take up a label. This being the jaded perception provided through stereotypes, prejudices, or just judgements based on your embodiment. The idea that someone can be a fraud within the labeled community is a different type of rejection, as you are rejected by people who are like you. Labels are constraining when it’s hard to identify how you feel in relation to other peoples experiences, especially as you are not sure if you feel the same way, or if you are going to continue feeling that way. Labels are an added on identity that we as a society associate with people, when a label becomes such a defining piece of you, it limits the way in which you feel you can move within that label.
This becomes confusing for me, especially as I start to question my sexuality and gender. Specifically within my gender I like the idea of not associating with any gender but I know that the category of women is also an identity that I am comfortable being labeled as, at this same idea I don’t care how other people perceive me and would rather people see me, in despite of a gendered label of assumptions. This just scratches the surface of the debate that plays out in my head when I start to think about gender.
Within my sexuality, I’ve just come to the conclusion that I’m into everyone. Where this becomes confusing is the discourse surrounding bisexuality, as bisexual people in a heterosexual relationship are seen as spicy straight, and bisexual people in a queer relationship are seen as some semblence of queer. Where I fall into this category is that I don’t want a relationship with anyone, and have only “done things’ ‘ with men, while having more emotional relationships with women. As a result of this discourse I feel pressured that I need to have sex with a women in order to prove to myself that I can take up this label and be valid within it.
I think labels are good as they help you find a collective community with similar experiences, as this is how we start to question how we identify ourselves in this world, but thereafter they start to feel limiting when you only identify with parts of the assumed experience.
Unruly Bodies 
This was an excellent post. As a person who identifies as bi, I definitely felt imposter syndrome in terms of my community. It didn’t help that for the longest time, I had only had relationships with men. But even after having relationships with women, I eventually realized that no matter who I’m with, I’m still bi, and nothing and no one can change that (expect me, but I don’t see that happening.) So, just keep being you, because as long as you are confident in whatever label you choose, that outsider opinions don’t matter that much 😀
First I have to say I love the image you chose, simply amazing. Second, I think I agree that labels are frustrating. I thought my sexuality fit into one label for a very long time and it was only this year that I realized it was incorrect, and I’m finding myself reluctant to “pick” a new label out of the fear that it again will be wrong. I know some people are happy and comfortable and feel free to pick up and discard labels and I am truly happy for them (and also jealous!) but for me it feels weighted or important, like something I need to get right.
I relate to this post and I appreciate that you took the time to talk about bisexual identity erasure. I’ve been with the same man for almost 6 years, but I came out as bisexual prior. Sometimes, I wonder if I even am allowed to call myself bisexual when I have only dated men in the past. We don’t have to check things off of some imaginary checklist to prove our sexual identities. What is so hard to get about being bisexual? Just because we’re with men doesn’t mean we’re suddenly heterosexual, and just because we’re with women doesn’t mean we’re only lesbians.
Thank you for venting your frustrations. How you choose to identify yourself, labels or whatever, you are valid.
I can relate with this sentiment. After so long trying to find a label to attach to myself, it becomes frustrating when you cannot identify with that label. In al this talk of self-discovery, people become reliant that once they pick a side, they must stay in that all the time. Like those jokes where people come out as straight, we have stigmatized this coming out. Even I am struggling with tiptoeing the line between pansexuality and asexuality as I cannot determine where I fall. Sex is so valued in society, but there are many restrictions on expressing it.