It’s easier said than done but when you finally reach the terms of accepting things the way that they are, life simply gets easier. Realizing that you are out of control of many things will lessen your anxiety speaking from my own experience. Not going to lie it’s hard to reach this mindset, but I’ve found it to bring me a little more peace than I had before. Getting stressed over the smallest things and just holding on to little things whether it be school or something personal really did not do me any good.
This sounds like I’m trying to sell a “don’t care about anything so you don’t get hurt” mindset, but I’m not. All I’m saying is that you’ll find peace in acceptance. The most important thing is making sure that you’re okay mentally, emotionally, and all of the above. Whether it be family, friends, school or anything ALWAYS choose your peace above anything. Don’t let anyone or anything disrupt your peace of mind. Again I’m not saying it’s easy to get here, but once you do you might be happier than you ever were.
Even to the people you are meant to have in your life forever whether it be a sibling, parent, or whatever. If they are causing you nothing but stress and pain it’s okay to love from afar. Loving from afar will always make you appreciate them more. “Distance makes the heart grow fonder” or whatever that saying is. The same goes for friends whether they were meant to be forever friends or temporary ones. The only person you are stuck with for life is yourself so make the best out of it for yourself don’t cause yourself unnecessary grey hairs. As I’ve grown up and now that I am in my early twenties that’s one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned.
Unruly Bodies 
I honestly feel the same way. In my past few years, I’ve faced frustration at things not going my way, even throwing tantrums, but not being able to resolve my issues. My family doesn’t exactly help things either, and the few friends I have are all online. Still, I learned that’s what’s important is my own happiness and peace. So kudos, for figuring it out.
Thank you for sharing your post with us. I relate to this mindset and have been trying to find the balance of accepting things and reaching terms with different aspects of my life in a healthy method. It can be difficult and dangerous because the risk of it turning toxic can be high. I also agree and think it is important to be able to recognize that the people you love can also cause harm. Choosing to love them afar can be a healthy way of prioritizing your feelings while still cherishing the relationship.
I had to come to this realization myself in terms of school. Prior to adopting this ideology, I stressed over every assignment, making sure it would get me the best grade possible. But that also meant staying up until 1/2/3A.M. just doing homework and practice problems. It took a pandemic for me to realize that life is too short for me to die over some stress over school work. So I adopted a “I will work on it, and if it’s not done, then it’s ok.” This mindset not only allowed me to not beat myself as much about not being perfect, but I also found myself being able to get more done because I decreased my stress. All in all, the “it is what it is” mindset definitely reshaped my academic life.
There is a funny video/meme out there somewhere where a group of guys recite this phrase and it has been my mantra ever since. I see it as leave and let live in a sense. Even as someone who overthinks heavily, when you stop stressing about things out of your control, life gets better.
This post really hit me. I have had to cut people out of my life because all they do is cause me stress. I’ve even had to do this with my own dad which was so hard, but I am learning to prioritize myself and learn that I am worth it and I do not need to please everyone in my life.
This resonated with me so much, and its such a crucial message that I’ve been trying to tell myself. Particularly with academics and my parental expectations, being caught between the middle means I’m in a constant state of exhaustion of balancing my academic requirements with my own mental load and self-care. I think I’ve finally reached the point of actually being able to let go and embrace peace, rather than just knowing that I should but stressing over it (if that makes sense). This is a constant process of learning and unlearning the kinds of messages you were raised with while setting your own boundaries, so this is by no means an easy achievement for anyone! Simply being anywhere on the journey to this realization is something to be proud of.