It’s easier said than done but when you finally reach the terms of accepting things the way that they are, life simply gets easier. Realizing that you are out of control of many things will lessen your anxiety speaking from my own experience. Not going to lie it’s hard to reach this mindset, but I’ve found it to bring me a little more peace than I had before. Getting stressed over the smallest things and just holding on to little things whether it be school or something personal really did not do me any good. 

This sounds like I’m trying to sell a “don’t care about anything so you don’t get hurt” mindset, but I’m not. All I’m saying is that you’ll find peace in acceptance. The most important thing is making sure that you’re okay mentally, emotionally, and all of the above. Whether  it be family, friends, school or anything ALWAYS choose your peace above anything. Don’t let anyone or anything disrupt your peace of mind. Again I’m not saying it’s easy to get here, but once you do you might be happier than you ever were.

Even to the people you are meant to have in your life forever whether it be a sibling, parent, or whatever. If they are causing you nothing but stress and pain it’s okay to love from afar. Loving from afar will always make you appreciate them more. “Distance makes the heart grow fonder”  or whatever that saying is. The same goes for friends whether they were meant to be forever friends or temporary ones. The only person you are stuck with for life is yourself so make the best out of it for yourself don’t cause yourself unnecessary grey hairs. As I’ve grown up and now that I am in my early twenties that’s one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned.

Hear me out.

I’m not saying therapy isn’t beneficial, but every time I have a conversation with someone about the topic they act as if it is going to fix all of your problems. I feel like if you need therapy and you personally without any outside forces feel like it’ll benefit you then okay that is justifiable. I think my stance on the subject is the way it is because I’ve never personally met anyone who willingly goes to therapy on their own. I also believe that therapy will only benefit you if you yourself are open to the idea of it.

I also just feel like some people are able to work things out on their own without needing an outside perspective as hard as it is for some to accept the fact. Me being one of those people I think I was programmed to just fix all my problems on my own and some people think that I need therapy because of that. This is the most frustrating part to me because just because I’m able to work things out and talk through things to myself I need therapy? I don’t know I just feel like not everyone needs to talk to someone. I also would like to add that yes I have been to therapy before and I’m speaking from experience of what it’s like to be in that kind of environment. Ultimately it did not end up working for me which is why I kind of turned myself into my own therapist and it’s worked a lot better that way. Therapy felt like I was relying on someone else for my emotional stability which was a feeling that I didn’t enjoy. It had nothing to do with my therapist herself she was amazing I just didn’t like the idea of therapy for me. I believe that it’s important to give yourself a chance to be there for yourself.

What are your thoughts? I’m curious.  

The world we live in is so unfair it’s really unbelievable. Starting with our healthcare, women are still fighting over their own reproductive rights and there’s people who can’t afford medicine they need to survive. These are just two examples of how messed up the system is. Why isn’t insulin free? Why isn’t chemotherapy free? Why do we have to pay ridiculous amounts of money for therapy? None of it really makes sense because other countries are able to make it work why aren’t we able to. I just feel like there are so many missing pieces because it really doesn’t make sense to me. Do you know how much an ambulance costs? A “basic life support transport” costs $500 and only goes up from there. I constantly question if they (on both sides) genuinely care about us or if they just pretend like they do.

I really want to highlight the cost of therapy because mental health is a big deal that is now finally getting the attention it needs. Mental health is finally gaining traction and it’s important for people to have an outlet. Therapy is an essential to someone who doesn’t even struggle with mental health. It’s important to have an unbiased voice coming from a non judgmental place. All coming back to the cost. It costs about $40+ an hour for therapy and to make matters worse insurance most likely won’t ever fully cover therapy. I feel like the system is rigged and made for us to never win. 

First generation children in America are expected to become the best of the best academically and nothing less. Either doctor, engineer, or lawyer. Those are the top three job descriptions expected from 90% of foreign parents.

This then starts the never ending cycle of simply trying to get by and doing whatever to make your parents happy. Of course there are the kids who thoroughly enjoy the path they’ve chosen, but at the end of the day it came down to the extreme influence their parents had that you can only be successful doing specific things. Safe to say it can go both ways, but judging from my personal encounters a lot of children including myself are living our lives on behalf of our parents.

Leading to my main point of dreaming about the life you want and not the one your parents want for you. A lot of first generation children weren’t given the chance to be creative or try something new because their entire lives revolved around going to school, getting a job, and ultimately pleasing their parents. Myself for example, yes I’m in school, yes I’m going to graduate, but at the end of the day this isn’t the life I see for myself. I am here for my parents, but plan for my dreams and goals in life to take me further than a desk job that I’ll most likely be miserable at. The biggest issue with this is that you cannot ever get a foreign parent to understand dreams and goals past education because they think that’s all that matters. The thought process that they have is “if you have a good paying job and a degree what more could you want.” Which is the complete opposite thinking of their children that were brought up here. A lot of kids will live for their parents and never live for themselves. Then on the opposite end there are those kids who are willing to test the waters and live their lives the way they’d like. So, are you willing to dream?