My entire life, I have struggled with who I am–an alpha. I was raised with this mentality by my dad, he taught me to take up space and to be the alpha female. Granted, this caused us to argue and bump heads like you wouldn’t imagine, but despite that, he made me feel as if I can do anything. Even in a society that doesn’t appreciate women and doesn’t allow them to try and take up space, I still do so. I am blunt, smart, fierce, but also emotionally intelligent, resilient, soft, and empathetic. THAT is what makes women, women. We are capable of both sides, being strong and providing while also being able to comprehend and understand someone’s feelings and emotions about a situation. We are superior and are incredible.
For me personally, this can also be a double-edged sword when it comes to taking up space in your own relationships. Always being the leader in every situation, being the informer, the overthinker. Always two steps ahead of everyone, even my own boyfriend. Having two dominant people in one relationships is hard, and taking up space where it isn’t wanted creates so much conflict. Conflict in ways that he feels inferior to you, or feels that he should always be the problem-solver and not you. When you are completely capable of handling it yourself. It is a hard situation to navigate, and it is hard to find someone that embraces that about you instead of putting you down for it. Taking up space feels powerful, until it doesn’t. Despite this feeling, you should always continue to take up space–you will eventually find the space that takes you.
Unruly Bodies 
Ohh, this was good. I grew up in a home in which my family taught my siblings and I to always be strong (in the sense that you described.) It hurt my friendships and relationships because I always needed that control to feel that I was making an impact or being my best self, but that’s not true. Even though I know the answer, I might not say it. Even though I am capable of doing something, I might not do it. Even though, I have the right answer, I may allow others to share only theirs while I just listen. I think that is an important part of being a leader. One has to learn to give others their space to be instead of dominating because you have it under control and by allowing the other person/people to have their time your able to see more of their presence so you do not have to be completely dominant and take control all the time. it becomes a yin and yang. Like on a basketball team, there are star players, but the best player and more renowned is the one that sees, appreciates, and rallies others (of course there are ones that just don’t want to share, but they are only remembered because they’re not liked.)
A fascinating read, as it was the complete opposite for me when growing up. As I was taught to be quiet, small, and just overall shy, it was difficult to attempt to stay in a space where I believe no one wanted me in. Therefore, hearing how individuals could be raised to be the complete opposite of what I was, yet still have issues later on in life, it begs the question of whether or not there is a balance to being raised in certain ways. Maybe being confident yet modest would be suitable in this circumstance, and hopefully more parents will teach their children to not be something they do not wish to be. If I had the choice to be raised to be quiet or loud, I would have definitely chosen somewhere in the middle. Thank you for sharing!
Wow, this was awesome to read. I do love that your father made that environment for you and siblings to have that type of mentality, because society usually wants women to be seen as fragile, sensitive, emotional, meek and shy, which there’s nothing wrong with at all, but you do not see that a lot. However, I do see why you kind of concerned, especially when there are two alpha personalities in a relationship. You being an alpha female makes it hard for you to sometimes step-back and let someone else handle/control a situation. I think the true essence with being an alpha female is knowing when to step-back, and let the other party sometimes take lead/handling the situation at hand.