Everyday I take wixela, my control inhaler: once in the morning and once at night. I normally would take symbicort, which I prefer, but insurance is a pain in the ass and even though symbicort works better for me, my opinions don’t matter.  It controls it well enough for them.

It helps prevent me from having an asthma attack.  Unfortunately, I still get an asthma attack one to two times a week, more if I am unlucky.  It’s better than two to three attacks a day I have without it, but it’s no symbicort .  I prefer symbicort’s practical elimination of regular asthma attacks, though it still can’t prevent me from getting an asthma attack should I get a bad enough asthma trigger.

For when I do get an asthma attack, my inhaler aka albuterol helps me get back to normal.  It’s hard to convey how much it sucks not being able to properly breathe.  Breathing is not something you should need to think about.  

Next up, perhaps my most versatile meds are my estradiol and spironolactone.  These help correct the accident of my birth, that I unfortunately was born with a “male” body and I require some help to fix it.  Luckily by decreasing my testosterone and increasing my estrogen I can fix that.

Every cell has both estrogen receptors and testosterone receptors.  Should you just change your primary sex hormone, you will change the way it expresses.  Doing this essentially kickstarts a second puberty, where your body physically changes in response to this..  Often surgery to change one’s genitalia is colloquially called a sex change, yet I feel that name is better reserved for hrt as it literally changes one’s sex down to the cellular level.

If that was just it, that would be more than enough.  But it’s the mental effects of HRT that really hammer home how powerful hormones are.  Off my hormones and on testosterone, I am an anxious wreck who can barely get up every day.  I feel disconnected from my body and reality doesn’t feel real.

Estrogen completely changes the equation.  My anxiety, depression and disconnection melt away.  I feel like an actual human being and it’s wonderful.

Less powerful, yet still important is Caffeine.  I, like many other Americans, am addicted to it, and thus I drink anywhere from four to six cups of tea a day.  I adore the taste and how it helps me focus.  Brewed properly, tea is a perfect little pick me up.

Often I take some otc medication to help deal with allergies, generally some lortadine.  I prefer having a nose which doesn’t make me feel miserable and unfortunately pollen makes me feel miserable.

Semi-legally, I have on occasion ate an edible or used a vape pen.  I don’t smoke weed though as it triggers my asthma.  Life is stressful, especially when I am taking twenty credits this semester, and sometimes I need to destress.

Rarely do I drink.  I drink a little socially but I don’t like the feeling of being drunk.  Mildly buzzed is the most I enjoy.

I hope to never need my epi pen.  It’s my defense in case I go into anaphylactic shock due to my allergies, and I hope to never know what that feels like.  A phenomenological article from the pov of someone going into anaphylactic shock might sound interesting, but I hope to never be able to write it.