The sexualization and ostracization of the female breast and nipple.
Society places great importance on breasts as a defining characteristic of women and womanhood, but at the same time recoils at the sight of them. During puberty, growing breasts define the shift from “girl to woman”. But growing breasts also means a growing problem: alienation.
This is because women’s breasts aren’t viewed as the fatty mass of flesh they are, instead they’re viewed as inherently sexual and provocative. This can be seen in art dating back centuries, up to modern day advertisements and media. Women’s breasts are considered totally different from men’s, even though men do and can have larger breasts than women. Why is that? Because one is sexualized and one is not. While men’s breasts can be sexualized, the difference is that they aren’t always thought of as sexual. Men’s breasts can be neutral, athletic, robust, while women’s are almost entirely thought of in a sexual manner, no matter the situation. Women’s breasts cannot be neutral without backlash.
Depending on the size of your breasts, shape of them, color of them, you will be judged and assumptions will be made about you. Large breasts mean your sexual, seductive. Small breasts means you’re less of a woman or prepubescent. None of this is true though. Breasts do not define womanhood, are not inherently sexual, and do not represent the content of your character.
I know this, but sometimes in moments of self consciousness I find myself thinking the opposite. Women are constantly told that their bodies are against them, that they have “feminine wiles” that cannot be controlled. As a woman I am painfully aware of my breasts. I have almost none, they are so small that bras do nothing for me, because there is nothing there to support. At times I will wear one, even though it’s uncomfortable, because I don’t want my nipples to be seen through my shirt. I feel a need to hide what everyone already knows is there.
I have been told that it’s like “I’m not even a woman”, as if the entirety of womanhood is dependent on breasts. It’s very tiring to always be under scrutiny for having a body. Because while I believe that women today have more bodily rights then they ever had, I also believe hypersexualization is the worst it’s ever been. For example, while watching feminist videos on why the breasts were so sexualized, the comments were filled with links to pornography sites.. I wonder if women’s breasts will ever be seen like a mans, multidimensional and not just sexual. If that voice in the back of my head telling me that my boobs are shameful will ever fully go away.
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Unruly Bodies 
I completely agree with what you’ve said here. It’s like society is completely unable to NOT sexualize a woman’s body, especially the bodies of women of color and heavier women. Even the act of breastfeeding is seen as sexual or provocative. And whereas men can show skin and have their bodies seen neutrally, women who show skin are immediately seen as sexual objects; their bodies can never JUST be bodies.
I agree with this. Almost anything can be sexualized and fetishized nowadays to the point where it is almost impossible to see it as nonsexual.
I’m so glad to hear someone else talking about this. I’ve been a huge proponent of the topfreedom movement for a long time, but when I talk about it, I feel like the response is always an eye-roll or an abrupt change in conversation direction. Part of that, I think, comes from the idea that we have “bigger fish to fry,” i.e. more pressing social movements to worry about. While there certainly are very urgent issues that need addressing, that doesn’t mean we have to stop caring about topfreedom/women’s bodily autonomy. Topfreedom isn’t a low-stakes issue. The way our culture is oriented towards ‘modesty’ assumes that the body is inherently a sexual object. It’s not. My body is my home, my primary means of connecting with the world. I should be able to exist comfortably (part of which, for me, is being bra-less) without fear of judgement, shame, and unwanted sexual attention. I shouldn’t have to cross my arms over my chest to walk down the stairs in public for fear that someone might see my chest bounce (god forbid, a body that moves!) and say, or worse, *do* something to hurt me. The way we talk about and around women’s bodies (“in that dress? she was asking for it,” “boys will be boys,” “low cut shirts are distracting,” etc.) places the responsibility on women to protect ourselves instead of holding harassers and abusers accountable. But we shouldn’t have to hide to keep ourselves safe.
I developed boobs pretty early on. By middle school I had the biggest boobs amongst other girls my age. This led to me being sexualized from a veryyyy age. It made me feel super uncomfortable in my body all of my teenage years. I’ve also had other women tell me my boobs are “always out” whenever I wear anything other than a baggy t-shirt. As if I’m supposed to “put them away” because they feel uncomfortable from me just having boobs. The same type of clothes that someone else with less “chest” wears is deemed very inappropriate when I wear it.
I totally get it, I have small boobs too, and while I like them, I sometimes have felt like less of a women. If I don’t wear a bra, they exist but in a much less visible fashion. I don’t really need to wear any bra but I do it largely to be more “appropriate”