I have always been insecure about my appearance, and I struggle with feeling confident with my body and my face. Even though I receive many compliments on my appearance, I still don’t believe them. I constantly compare myself to other girls who I think are prettier than me, and I wonder why I can’t be as skinny or as pretty as them. I overanalyze every insecurity of mine and stress over them, even if no one else can notice them. I worry constantly about how I am perceived by others. Do people think I’m pretty? Are my insecurities as visible as I think they are? Social media has definitely amplified these negative feelings towards my self-image. It is already so difficult to feel confident in my own skin, and social media has made me struggle significantly more than before. Social media has set an unrealistic beauty standard that is nearly impossible to achieve. Filters and FaceTuning have become very popular, which only increases the harmful effects on self-confidence. On TikTok, users can even film videos using filters that completely alter their facial structure (making nose smaller, lips plumper, eyes bigger, etc.). This has such a dangerous and toxic impact, especially on younger audiences who are easily influenced. Statistics show a direct correlation between the amount of social media usage and increased depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders. Actively using social media had such a detrimental impact on my self-confidence and well-being to the point where I deactivated all of my accounts for months. Once I learned to accept myself and embrace who I am, I gradually started to use social media again. I have to keep reminding myself that social media is not real life, and I should never feel as though I have to look as perfect as everyone else appears on there.
Something I have been trying to work on is reminding myself that another woman’s beauty does not take away from my beauty. It does not make me any less than her. Everyone has insecurities to some extent, even the prettiest girls I know do. It is completely normal and natural to feel this way because we are all humans at the end of the day. I should not feel ashamed or beat myself up for experiencing these thoughts and emotions. Another way to look at it is I should focus more on improving myself as a person because that’s what truly matters. It doesn’t matter how pretty you look if you’re a bad person deep down. Growing into a woman that I am proud to be is definitely much more fulfilling than being physically attractive. Everyday, I am learning to appreciate my beauty inside and out and truly embracing who I am.
Unruly Bodies 
I see and hear you. It’s not easy to “cope” with your looks amid so much appearance altering technology and quick-lived beauty trends. It makes me think of the young girls growing up in this day and age. I applaud all the work you’ve done to be able to appreciate yourself beyond your looks. Getting to a point where you can truly like yourself is not an easy feat, I hope you can continue to find the beauty that lies in every part of you!
Thank you for sharing this piece. I come from the background of being a gay man that is not the typical athletic, built body type and more of a fat or husky body, and the parallels between what you described and what I see and experience are disappointing in a societal context. I am expected to be this gym rat archetype that has a six pack, but I don’t necessarily want that for me, yet it is continually shoved down the throats of Instagram users to be pretty and sexy and fit regardless of contemporary pushback. The phenomenology in itself between the societal construction of genders and the expectations society places on them in terms of beauty is one that every body experiences (in different ways, of course) in some capacity.
I totally resonate with everything you said, especially not believing people who tell you you’re pretty. It’s kind of ironic when you think about it, because social media is designed to make us crave others’ validation an attention, yet when we get it, it still doesn’t feel like enough. I think beauty standards play a big part in that because even if I’m told that I’m beautiful, I don’t believe them because I equate beauty with certain standards. So if I don’t meet those standards, then I must not be pretty. However, deleting social media has definitely done wonders for my self-esteem and positive body image, because it prevents me from comparing myself to unrealistic beauty standard, when many people on the internet use filters and edited photos. I love what you said about internal beauty being more important than external, because someone who is kind and doesn’t judge people, their beauty will always shine on the outside.
Inner beauty is something that I think a lot of people lack. We focus so much on outward appearance, presentation, that we completely neglect that’s inside. Sure, everyone knows to be polite, but when was the last time you met someone who was completely genuine? Someone who expressed an aura of self security and projected that safeness to you? I think true inner beauty is something we should strive for, because it isn’t something that creates a safety for other people, but also ourselves. I completely agree that we should work on yourselves to have a pretty heart, nothing is better than knowing you’ve been authentic with someone; knowing that there was a real connection above the superficial.
I can definitely relate to feeling insecure about my appearance and constantly comparing myself to others. It’s so easy to get caught up in the beauty standards that social media sets and believe that we have to look perfect to be accepted or loved. But like you mentioned, it’s important to remind ourselves that social media is not real life and not to let it affect our self-worth. I too found that focusing on my spiritual life has helped me let go of those negative thoughts and embrace the beauty in myself and others. Realizing that my worth comes from within and not from my appearance has been a game-changer. It’s amazing how a shift in mindset can make such a difference in our overall well-being. Thank you for sharing your experience and reminding us all the importance of self-acceptance and growth. Let’s continue to uplift and support each other on this journey of self-love and empowerment.